The Musician... see you among the stars

I had always thought that I didn´t want to be alive after the age of thirty five. I had begged God to take my life early, but I kept on living. Oahspe opened my eyes to see the spiritual truth, and now I know that this world is not the world for me. So while I´m here, I´ll devote the remainder of my life helping people. Not only through the knowledge that I´ve accumulated, but by the love I can now effectively generate in others presence. In this wicked upside-down world, I can not share what I personally learned or I know I will be attacked. So the best way is to simply point them to truth in an easy way and present the love and patience of my new founded learned personality. That would be the best I can do here in this world right now. In fact, it's the only thing I can do. Will it go unnoticed? Probably, but thats the best I can do. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

I´ve accomplished so many things in my life, my music and performance, my photography, my videos, my websites, and my writings. God that´s a lot! Many people would never be able to do that in a lifetime. I never really appreciated everything I accomplished or even thought it was anything special until my buddy Jim Bergstedt pointed it out to me clearly during some hard personal mental times. I really have much to be thankful for in life.

So now, how do I help people? That is the question. Taxi driving to earn money, which makes me be as free as posible, is now killing my body. One can only spend a certain amount of time in a cab situation until your body begins going through changes. You don't eat or sleep correctly and you surely don't get enough body movement happening and your always lacking exercise. It's the job! Your always going/moving, and its difficult to take a break. I must to find a way out of it and still maintain freedom.

While I was driving the cab and looking for a way out of this insane country and the coming New World Order, a Christian fellow cabbie, a very religious friend named Frances, convinced me to take a little vacation trip with him to a little town he once lived in and talked to me a lot about while cabbying. He wanted me to join him for a trip to
Creel, Mexico. I agreed because I had always wanted to see Mexico and it was a good chance to experience it with someone who knew. I also was very interested, because I was looking for a way out of this country, which no one around me knew. I never made my future intentions known. So the trip did interest me a lot. We went and it was a simply a wonderful experience. It was very relaxing and away from the hustling cab business and the oppressive expensive life of the United States and the oppressive City of Denver. While we were in Mexico, Frances introduced me to some nice people who had remembered him and it sort of opened my eyes to a new way of peaceful existance that I wanted. While we were exploring and
walking around Creel, we had many wonderful spiritual godly discussions together and one of the things we discussed, because of my poor financial condition, was how to earn better money in the cab business by reducing my expenses. Frances was doing that and earning lots of quick money, because he reduced his expenses to a bare minimum. If I wanted to follow his style, I would have to get rid of everything I owned. All the material things I have gathered which would include giving up my apartment. I would have to make my cab my home/apartment and sleep in it like what Frances had successfully been doing. It would be like camping out in the cab. We discussed this on the
mountain top over looking the town of Creel. If I did what Frances was doing, then all the money I would make would build up quickly if I had no expenses as Frances did. It sounded like a fantastic realistic idea. Frances had been doing just that and was taking showers at automotive rest stops or friend's houses.

I was a great idea and it was a way for me to get out of the states and get more control of my life and direction. I thought about it thoroughly and finally I made the decision to do it. So when we returned back to Denver, I dissolved my apartment and began living (camping-out) in the cab. I no longer had any expenses, and I was able to save a lot of money quickly. The cab was Frances's home and after returning from Mexico, the cab became my home also.

We slept in our cabs in the airport holding lot every night and we only did airport (trip) runs. Our trunk was our refrigerator and cabinets. That´s where we stored our food. We bought our own food to save on food bills. We took showers at our friend´s house and basically we we lived at the airport day and night. We did four or five, $50.00 runs a day which amounted to $200.00 a day. That is 1400.00 a week and after the expenses for the cost of the cab and food, we were both saving about 800 to 1000 a week. I really began enjoying it, and within 5 months, I managed to save about 5 grand after needless other expenses.

The great thing about the cab business is that you can take time off as long as you like, and return again. It has a great deal of freedom built into it. You get cash money everyday and you can do basically anything you want. You rent the car by the week so you always have a vehicle.

With that money, I returned by myself to that wonderful same town in Mexico we had visited in hopes of finally getting away from the US and hopefully to try to buy a house here so I can get away from the oppressive United States and the coming New World Order - Globalism, if that would were possible. With five-thousand dollars, I can hang-out here for a long time. I stayed at a little backpacker´s guest house named,
Margarita´s. At two dollars a day including breakfast and dinner it became my new home. I brought my laptop computer and decided that with this peace and open, nothing-to-do, relaxing feeling that I was going to write this book. The book about my life in the music business and the destruction of my generation and country and the people responsible for it all. I was very happy now here in Mexico. I felt very relieved and at peace within myself.

I became good friends with Margarita herself and began working at her hotel doing odds and ends things for her. She is really a wonderful lady with such a good heart. After many months living there, I decided to put the word out that I was interested in buying land with a house on it to see what would transpire. I was then asked by the Mayor of the town to volunteer to help teach English and I agreed. It would be a sure way of meeting more people and establishing me to the town´s people. I began writing my autobiography everyday on the laptop that I had brought with me. Re-living my life through every chapter I wrote wasn´t an easy task, but it gave me something to accomplish while I was hanging out there, and I also kind of enjoyed writing about many of the true strange stories I lived through.

Eventually, a few people offered me some land. I looked at quite a few properties and I finally found and purchased a nice one acre property with a small 14x14 cabin for $2000.00, but after the sale, with only a little money left, I returned to Denver to save some more money so I could return again and fix the place up and enjoy it for long periods of time. I now owned my own house and an acre of land in Mexico.

After another grueling (living and sleeping in the cab at Denver International Airport) six months work in Denver, I was able to return to my new house with another $5000.00. I stayed at my new house in Mexico for six months, fixing the house up, continuing writing my autobiography while reading and studying the Oahspe bible. I was also working occasionally at Margarita´s from time to time. For the next five years, I did this over and over, a back and forth thing to the USA and back to Mexico, but after five years of doing this sleeping in the cab stuff, the cab eventually began deteriorating my body. Also, for those five years, every time I returned to the cab to make more money, the cab business had changed for the worse. There were always stronger oppressive police surveillanced airport rules being initiated each year and more and more drivers had mimicked Frances and I, because they noticed our style of making money and they too also wanted a piece of the pie. Many drivers began camping out in there cabs too. The money was still there but the competition was noticably increasing every year and the competition began forcing people into aggressive attitudes. The airport holding lot eventually became a little city. The word had gotten out what Frances and I were doing and people figured out the amount of quick money we were making doing it this way and so other drivers began spreading the word around to their friends. Then, their friends wanted a piece of the action. Shortly thereafter, a rush of many African and Middle Eastern people began pouring into the business, and within two years, they out numbered us, and they too were sleeping at the airport. It didn't feel like the airport anymore. It felt like being in Egypt with arabic language and music echoing everywhere.

From what I see happening now, there have been a drastic change in the kind of police activity thoughout the United States. I watched it manifest and initiate in Denver, and my customers that I picked up from the airport also told me that they have been noticing it to in their cities as well. So it has been happening though out the country. There has been a heavy crackdowns on street people like hookers, drug dealers selling on the streets, drunken people, increased traffic violations and just in general, a lot of intense police activity that had never gone on before. And it seems that Civil Rights or Constitutional Rights do not have any matter in the actions. I knew this New World Order would happen from my new learn readings. Denver has turned into a police state and it is happening in every major city in this country. I used to have my choice of girls for a quick sexual relief in Denver from time to time, but it seems that the girls are all gone, and it remains that way. There are cops everywhere now in the states, and its getting difficult, if not impossible, to find a girl for a quickie nowadays. Things ar surely changing everywhere and there is a lack of any fun times anymore. In addition, the police have been cracking down hard on the raves and legitimate club venues also. It is surely becomng a police state everywhere in the major cities. You have no Rights except to be fined, thrown in jail or put through the system immediately. I never thought they could do that in New York or LA, but they somehow did it there also from what I heard from my passangers

In Mexico, it was very difficult to get laid in my town or area. I live in a rural area and a great deal of not being able to get a girl is the language barrier. I only women who come on to me in my town are old and fat. In the past five years living, working and teaching English in Mexico, I never got laid there. And I'm also realizing that the Mexican people are too serious and are just not a very happy bunch of people in general. After finishing most of my autobiography, and it was a great feat to undertake, I decided that the next chunk of money that I save, I'm going to change the pace and try to find another direction. I love Mexico! It's quiet and peaceful and it will always be here for me, but I need to find a place where there is more pussy and entertainment. I can't even find sex in Denver or in the States anymore either. So I think the next place for me to explore is Thailand. I always remembered Shelly telling me about Thailand and I need some good sexual healing and it seems like the right place to explore. So the next stack of money I make will be to head to Thailand for some much needed fun and sex, hopefully. I was weary about making this trip in the past, but I heard a lot of stories about how great it was so I decided to save for it.

It seems that every return trip from Mexico to earn money from driving the cab in Denver gets harder and harder. As I said earlier, many cab drivers are copying Francis and I and are also sleeping at the airport. In the beginning, when Francis turned me on to the idea of sleeping at the airport, it was only Francis and I. Now five years later, there are fifty cab drivers all sleeping at the airport doing the same thing. With more and more people doing it, it takes so much longer in time to make the money. Not to mention the growing corruption from the cab starters, which also got worse? Black cab starters giving good trips to the black cab drivers, bad trips to the white guys, and it´s all purposely and openly done, and no complaints will do anything to stop it. Anyway, with a lot of hard driving work, I only managed to save $3500.00 and it took me seven long months to do it. I´m going to take a fast trip to Thailand and see what it´s all about. With only $3500, I will only go for ten days just to see what it is like. It is October 1997 and off I go.

My trip to Thailand was fantastic. I met and fucked so many beautiful girls. I had girls that were young, sexy, beautiful and sweet that I could never have in the states. One girl who followed me around was
19 years old with long hair. She was gorgeous. She took me to many underground Thai places in Bangkok and I immediately fell in love with the beautiful woman of Thailand. I was in Heaven!

When I arrived back in the States after my 10 day trip I was sick. I actually cried on my way to the Bangkok airport. I didn´t want to leave. Back in Denver I thought to myself, Why the fuck am I here? Forget Mexico, and fuck this oppressive New World Order United States. I got to get back to Thailand. Maybe it was a dream! Maybe it wasn´t real at all!

Now I've got to save some money again and get back as soon as possible to make sure that it was truly real. So off I went driving the cab again. I had nothing on my mind except making money for the trip back to Thailand. I worked very hard and extremely diligently. I had a fire under my ass! By March of 1998, I had another $3,800.00 and this time it will be a full month in Thailand. However, I will only spend two weeks in Bangkok and experiment with the final 2 weeks in never been before Pattaya, Thailand. I heard Pattaya was great and half the cost. So off I went again to see if it was only a dream.

On the plane, I just couldn't wait to arrive in Thailand. When the plane landed, I was the most happiest I had ever been in my life. I tried to hook up with the girls I had been with before, but the old feelings were gone and the whole vibe of them had changed for the worse. So I went exploring to other areas and came up with other winners ready to be with me. Two weeks in Bangkok and two weeks in incredible Pattaya came to an end and it was back to the boring United States and the cab business. Again, I cried to myself on my way to the Bangkok Airport. Thailand was indeed real! I published a story about my 10 day Thailand trip on the internet. I called it:

Before The Crackdown:

I arrived in Thailand for the first time in 1997 for ten days. Alone, not knowing anyone, and in my upper forties, I wanted to experience the things that many people have always talked about. I arrived at 10AM and slept until 11PM still dazed from my long flight from Farangland. I was still very tired, but I said to myself, "Hey, you're only here for 10 days, so you better get going." I dressed quickly and flagged a taxi and told him to take me where the girls are. Unknowingly, he dropped me off at Soi Cowboy at midnight.

I could not believe my eyes! I never saw so many beautiful sexy girls in one place. In shock, I didn't know what to do. As soon as one beauty grabbed me, another much more beautiful girl began calling at me. I froze! I didn't know what the deal was or how one goes about negotiating. So I wandered about the Soi looking to ask someone who spoke English. With all these women about, how does anyone choose? I walked over to a group of farang men who were slightly drunk and chatting. I interrupted them and asked, "Excuse me, this is my first time in Thailand, could you tell me what the deal is here with these women?" They smiled and said that they were going to Long Gun and invited me to join them for a drink.

While we were walking towards that bar, with my eyes gazing at the beautiful ladies in disbelief, I asked one of them, "How do you know which one is available? "He uttered, "They're all available!" I became deeper into shock! We entered Long Gun and they bought me a drink, while explaining everything. Not too long thereafter, one girl was sitting on my knee massaging my crotch, while my hand was on another's big breast. Shortly, another began making out with me. I was in heaven! This sure doesn't go on in Farangland. The three girls, individually, asked me to take her to my hotel, but I could not choose. The men who invited me were smiling. Suddenly, while my hands, mouth, and crouch were all occupied, the bars suddenly closed. It's already 2AM! The girls begged me to take them, but I still could not choose which one. There were just too many beautiful sexy girls to choose from. I wandered out to the Soi alone in the darkness.

There were, what it seemed like, hundreds of girls everywhere walking about, ready to go home, and still, I had no one to be with. I was very confused, although I was enjoying every minute of it. I stood there thinking, "'Well, even if I don't get laid tonight, at least I sort of know what the deal is now. Tomorrow I'll be better prepared, and I'll arrive earlier."

As the crowd became lighter, I saw another farang man in his early thirties walking toward me. I interrupted him, "Hey, excuse me, I'm new here, could you tell me how one approaches one of these girls?" "You wanna get laid?" he asked. "I sure do," I replied. He laughed, and asked, "Which one do you like?" I pointed, "That little one over there seems nice." He quickly grabbed my arm and took me directly up to the girl who was talking to her friend, and said to her, "Hey, he likes you!" I stood there frozen. The girl looked into my eyes and smiled. She grabbed my hand and began pulling me towards somewhere. As she was pulling me, she had seen one of her friends. She dropped my hand and ran to her friend and began chattering, occasionally looking toward me. The guy I was with came to me and stated that it was too late. She probably will trek with her girlfriend. "Come with me," he said, "I'll get you laid tonight." I smiled and I followed him.

We entered a taxi at the entrance of the Soi. He told the driver, "Take us to a madam's house...we want young girls." The driver got out of his taxi and began talking with the other drivers. I said to my new friend that I think you confused the driver. He replied not to worry...he knows what we want and he'll find out where to go. I'm enjoying this guy's determination very much. While the driver was consulting his fellow drivers, my new friend and I became aquatinted. He is very funny, and determined to get me laid. I'm impressed! The driver returned and took us to a long, dark alley. Not too far from Soi Cowboy. There were a few men who greeted us at the end of the pitch-black dark alley, and proceeded to escort us into a house. It was now 3 AM in the morning. Inside this house, there was only one girl available for the evening. The mamasan stated that it was very late / or early, and that all her girls were gone, but this one is still available. This only girl seemed kind of ok!

OK, but showed no interest in going with me. My friend told me, "Take her!" I replied, "I don't know!" The mamasan tried to talk me into it, but I finally decided no. We exited the house to enter the taxi, but some of the men in the dark alley escorted us into another adjoining house. I reluctantly entered with my friend following. As soon as this other mamasan asked us to sit on the couch, about 20 young beautiful girls entered the room. Ages 16 to 18. I was overwhelmed. My friend and I were both in shock. As soon as I was about to pick a girl, a Thai guy entered and immediately picked the girl I wanted. My friend told me to pick one fast. I was about to pick another, but the same thing happened again. This house was frequented by Thais. I immediately became disgusted and left empty handed. I've never done anything like this before, so I was caught by surprise. We entered our taxi and proceeded to grab a bite to eat somewhere outside Thermae Coffee shop, although, we both did not know anything about Thermae at that time.

We sat down to eat. My new friend told me that I was too particular about choosing women. I agreed. I told him that I just can't fuck just to fuck. I must feel something about the girl in order to enjoy it. Suddenly, a beautiful, sensual, young girl appeared. She was wearing a nice, short, black dress. She appeared very shy and cute. Sort of like an anime girl. I immediately said hello, on my own, and she sat down quietly next to me. She said nothing. My friend asked if I like her. I replied that she's a doll. My friend asked her, "Do you want to go with him? She replied softly, "Yes!" "Long time? " he asked her. "Too late, I have baby, short time," she replied softly. "How much?" I asked. "500 baht," she replied. I told my friend where I was staying, thanked him for his patience and effort, and off the girl and I went.

The next day, about four in the afternoon, I received a call from my new friend. I was totally surprised that he contacted me. He stated that he was about to visit me at my guesthouse. He told me to get ready, because we were going out again. Happily, I patiently awaited his arrival.

When he arrived, he began complaining about the traffic he had to endure to get to me. He asked why I was staying at a guesthouse far from where all the action is. I told him that I was with my friends in the Farangland having breakfast when someone sitting at a table next to us overheard me say that I was going to Thailand. This person asked me to hand him the Lonely Planet book I was holding, so that he could show me a good cheap place to stay. Not knowing anything about Thailand, he recommended this guesthouse near Khao San Rd. My friend replied that I was 100 baht away from the action by taxi, and that I would have trouble returning with a Thai girl here. I told him that I don't know where else to stay. My friend was staying at the very expensive Renaissance. My friend asked how it went last night and I told him about the wonderful time I had with the sweet girl. He asked where we went. I told him to a nice short-time hotel.

Off we went in a taxi. He was going to turn me on to Patpong. We had a nice long chat in the taxi. We arrived at Patpong and proceeded to the entrance of this upstairs bar. He said, "Are you ready?" I asked what he meant. He said that as soon as we walk in about ten girls will jump on us immediately. "Are you ready to handle that?" he asked. I replied with a big smile, "OK, I'm ready!" "Watch your wallet" he replied.

He was correct. We were immediately stomped by many girls. He immediately liked one of the girls that were on him, but I wasn't sure about any of the one's that were on me. My friend said, "Hurry, pick one out so we could leave here quickly. It's cheaper than hanging out here." I looked around and seen a little cutie in the back of the club. I asked the mamasan to bring her over. She was young and a doll with beautiful long hair. The mamasan called her to me, she jumped on my lap. She felt wonderful and willing and thus, I said to my friend, "This is the one! " We paid our bar fine and exited to an outdoor bar in Patpong for a drink and chat.

My friend's girl was nice, but mine was beautiful. I learned then that my new friend was leaving Thailand in the morning. I became very sad to see him go. l thought to myself, "How am I going to do without him? We were just beginning to have a great time." We had a couple of drinks and he and his girl escorted us to a taxi. We hugged and I thanked him tearfully for guiding me. I'm gonna miss him! He told our driver to take my girl and I to a short-time hotel. We hugged again and departed.

The driver took us to a short-time hotel near Patpong, which was very nice. I had a great time with the girl. I paid her and investigated the hotel about the room we had. I decided to take my friends advice to be closer to the action. I booked a room at this hotel, which was five blocks from Patpong. I checked-out of my Khao San room the next day. With my friend gone and room closer to the action, I'm ready and confident to trek out on my own.

I had a great sleep, but I woke up late. I walked to Patpong around 9:30 PM. It was very crowded. So crowded, that I felt lost and alone. I decided to head to Soi Cowboy. At Cowboy, I walked into the club Black & White. I was relaxing, having a beer, chatting with an English speaking mamasan, and watching the beautiful young girls. I noticed a girl laughing at me that was sitting at the bar, and I asked the mamasan why that girl is laughing at me. She replied, "Because she likes you!" I asked her to invite her here, and she did. The girl felt great so I took her to my hotel for a long-time. The 19 year old girl was fantastic.

The next evening, I returned to Cowboy, but tried to avoid B&W to look for something new. I entered Long Gun, but it was overcrowded and difficult to get near a girl. Thus, I returned to B&W. The girl I had last night was very happy to see me, and introduced me to all the other girls...one by one. I bought a few of them drinks, which made them take an extra liking to me. Once the girls felt my personality, they began to joke and carrying-on with me in a very funny way. Like, they would walk by me, throw their arms around me, feel me, make my girl angry in a funny way, and proceed to another area of the bar or walk outside. Within a couple of hours, there were six girls sitting with me and the girl I had last night, all at one time. We were laughing and carrying on all night. When the bar closed, they all invited me to an after hour Thai underground bar. I had a great time meeting all these wonderful Thai friends of theirs. They had open bottles of whiskey on the table. We all hung-out to 5 AM and I again, took the same girl home.

The girl slept with me the entire day and I took her to work...back to B&W. However, I did not offer the girl money, and she did not ask. Too much sex, too much partying, and too much drinking, I returned to my room to relax and sleep.

I was awoken at 2 AM by a knock on the door. It was the same girl. She was funny and playful. Certainly unexpected!

The next day, she introduced me to Siam Square. We browsed through the shops. We didn't buy anything...just looked. We had dinner there, and afterwards I took her back to the bar. I paid the bar fine and we went to the movies. I just can't stop enjoying being with this girl. After all, she is beautiful. However, I just like to experience other beautiful girls. That's why I came to Thailand, but for now, I'm very content. She's also showing me a lot about Bangkok. After the movie, I wanted to go to the biggest disco in Bangkok. She took me to it and we experienced a great live show. We had a wonderful day and returned to my hotel. Sex is great with her too. However, I only have a few days left, so tomorrow I'm definitely going to get rid of her, and try something new.

The next day, I dropped her off at the bar. I still didn't give her any money, and again, she didn't ask. After all, I really didn't want her. It just sort of happened. I chattered with the other girls at the bar for a bit, and then I took off.

All I knew about was Soi Cowboy and Patpong. To get away from this girl, I returned to Patpong. I entered Kings Castle 2. I never saw such stunning girls in my entire life, ages 16? ? ? and up. I had a young girl on my lap ready and willing. She was phenomenal. She wanted 5000 baht for a long-time or 3000 for short. This girl was so outrageously beautiful that I agreed to give her the 5000. It would be a one time experience that I would never forget. I mean, a guy like me in my upper forties having a girl like this to fuck me all night. After all, I'm on vacation, this is why I came here, and I still have plenty of money left. I agreed to give this girl 5000 baht and she hesitated. She tried to talk me into short-time for 3000, but I refused. It would be too frustrating just to have her for just an hour. Finally I told her long-time or nothing. She procrastinated. Then she told me to come tomorrow night and she will go with me. I became disgusted and left. There were at least 4 or 5 other girls that were almost as stunning as she was. Something to look into at another time.

I strolled around Patpong's market and bought a watch, which fell a part when I returned to Farangland. I walked around to the Japanese section and back to look around and to get a sense of the area. I strolled through some other bars, but nothing was happening or appealing.

I decided to enter this bar on the corner of the side street across from King Castle that seemed promising. I entered and ordered a beer. As I was looking at the 20 or so girls dancing on the stage, something appeared to be very strange. I kept looking and said to myself, "Wait a minute!" I looked around at all the girls. I began studying them. I then realized, "'There's not a fucking girl in this entire club! They're all guys. Ladyboys! Holy shit," I thought. I turned to the men sitting at a table not to far to my left and watched their faces. I wondered, "Do they know that they are drooling over boys?" I said to them, "There's not a girl in this club!" They looked at me kind of weird. Then, two ladyboys with big tits and body curbs went to them. The men grabbed the ladyboys and began feeling their asses. I yelled to them, "That's a guy! " One of the men replied while feeling the ladyboys ass, "You're trying to tell me that this is a guy?" "He sure is!" I replied. They both ignored me as if I were crazy. "Oh well," I thought. "Welcome to Thailand." I summoned the dyke waitress for my check and she asked why I was leaving so soon. I told her that there's not a girl in this entire place. She said, "Why? You don't like ladyboys?" "No! I like women just like you...just give me the check."

Being a little lost and disgusted, not knowing where to go next, I took a motorbike back to Soi Cowboy. Patpong sure has a lot of ladyboys. During the ride to Cowboy, I could not stop the flashback of the hot girls at Kings Castle 2.

At Soi Cowboy, I entered Long Gun. As I took a seat, I was immediately approached by two aggressive, nasty ladyboys. I literally had to fight them off. I got pissed off and left before ordering a drink. I needed a pick-me-up, so I returned to B&W.

Everyone at B&W was very happy to see me again, and I automatically felt very good. The girls, after closing, were all going to Nana disco, which I never knew about, and they wanted me to join them. Again, there were a lot of laughs going on, because the girls at B&W were always joking. After closing, we all took Tuk-Tuk's to Nana disco.

The music at Nana disco was great, but I particularly didn't like the crowd. There were a lot of ladyboys, and for the first time, I noticed a lot of lesbian activity amongst the girls. I thought, "What is it with all these ladyboys? They are all over the place!" Suddenly, a couple of serious big fights broke-out, girl on girl, and caused some farang's to go at it. I immediately became very uncomfortable. This is a first time experience for me, and I can not enjoy violent behavior. To couple that with the amount of ladyboys present, I became uneasy and walked out.

I went to the corner store for cigarettes, and when I exited the store, I was faced with the girl I been with for the last five days. She asked, "Where are you going?" I said, "Home!" She asked, "Why?" I told her that I didn't like the ladyboys and lesbian activity. She didn't know what to say. She asked me, "You want me to go with you?" I told her, "No! Stay! Have a good time with your friends. I really don't mind. Go ahead...Have a good time." She told me in Thai that I was crazy and with a pissed-off attitude, she walked away."

This has been a great learn-a-lesson day for me with a lot of ups & downs. But for now, I just want to go home and chill-out. I just want to have a good nights rest.

I walked across the street and got some melons from the vendor. Then I jumped in a taxi. Before I could close the taxi door, the other door opened and in came my B&W girl. I said, "What are you doing?" She puts her head in my chest and says, "I'm going with you!" She looks up at my eyes and smiles. She melted my heart and off we went.

We had sex for a couple of hours, and then we went to eat at an all night Thai stand. We returned to the hotel and kissed with more sex for the entire day. We barely had any sleep. All we did was kiss, cuddle, and fuck. I was leaving to Farangland the next morning. So before escorting her to a motorbike, we walked to Patpong where I cashed in my Travelers Checks and I gave her 8000 baht. I told her that I had a wonderful experience in Thailand because of her, and I will try to be back here in six months. We hugged, kissed, said our good-bye's, and she hopped on a motorbike back to Cowboy.

I was very exhausted from the sex and lack of sleep so I walked back to my hotel. I stopped for a moment, and thought about the hot young girls in Patpong's King Castle 2, but I had enough.

During the walk back to my hotel, I thought about all the knowledge I gained on how things work in Bangkok. There's so much more to learn, but in a ten day period, I learned a lot. I love Thailand. The people are very nice. The city is very vibrant, and the nightlife is superb. On could hang-out to six in the morning if they wanted to. The Thai girls sure know how to treat a man. Most of all, everyone enjoys having fun. One can never have all of this in Farangland. Especially at my age! I know I'm coming back and it will be soon. I sure wish I could live the rest of my life here. I'm poor! I have nothing in Farangland. No nest egg and no savings. I need to find a way.

I entered my hotel and began to pack. I need to have a good nights rest. I must leave by 7:30 AM. So if I pack now, I won't have to get-up at six in the morning.

Well, its 9:00 PM now so I'm gonna hit the bed. As sleeping time passes, knock, knock, and knock! "Shit! What time is it? It's 2 AM. What the fuck," I uttered. I opened the door and it was her. "Whatyadoin?" I said. "I wanted be with you and make you happy one more time," she stated with a big smile. Then she quickly began kissing me. "This girl is something else or should I say that Thai girls are something else. I already paid her. She didn't have to come back. She could be sleeping with someone else, and earning more money. What can I say. How do you leave someone like this behind?

We carried-on all night long until the last moment. We dressed quickly, paid my room bill and entered the street. I flagged a taxi, and she began to cry. I gave her the last hug and then I took
her picture with my digital camera. "See you again in six months, probably in March," I told her. I entered the taxi and as we pulled away, I turned to look at her and waved goodbye. She did the same while in tears.

I was crying on the inside feeling very sad. I couldn't think. I just stared at the buildings moving out my taxi window. Thailand is an addictive place. I don't want to go back to Farangland. Then I glanced at the taxi meter, but there was none. I yelled to the driver, "Hey, where's your meter?" He replied, "I don't have one. What do you mean you don't have one," I frantically asked. "Airport very far," he replied. I yelled, "Don't give me that shit. The airport is not far. How much you gonna charge me." "500 baht," he said. "No," I yelled, "200 baht, airport not far." "500 baht," he replied again. "Don't fuck with me!" I screamed, "I'm not in the mood, get off the highway now....exit here mutherfucker....exit here." The driver exited and stopped on the service road. "I'm not getting out here," I told him, "There's no taxi's here...keep driving down the street." He wouldn't move the taxi. I screamed directly into his face, "You're not going to make me miss my flight, you mutherfucker...GET MOVING...YOU HEAR ME! " He said, "OK, OK." He reached down to the lower level of his console, and opened a little door panel, which exposed a meter. He turned it on. "I get you to airport quick...no problem...no problem," he pleated. It took a few moments for me to calm down. I can't believe it. I can not even enjoy the last moments of Bangkok and the thought of the girl. I guess there's always a lesson to be learned in Thailand.

Part 2 would come next.

When I arrived back in Denver, I learned that the cab business had changed dramatically again. One company was bought out and the lease rates had risen very high. It was no longer getting profitable to sleep and camp in the cab at the airport unless one bought their own cab. This way you would pay a much lower lease fee if you owned your own cab. But since I didn´t want to buy one and I had no money to do so, it would take twice as long to save the money I was used to saving. It would now take me a year to save 5,000.00 unless I purchased my own cab. I began driving again but didn´t know what to do in this situation. I just hoped that something would happen to help me figure out what to do. And I thought, if only I could spend the rest of my life in Thailand.

I began spending time on the internet searching for information about Thailand. I accidentally came across a web site written by a man called,Stickman. He wrote a site that talked about teaching English in Thailand. I just couldn´t believe what I was reading. It was a detailed site that explained how to go about it and do it, and everything you needed to do to accomplish it. There it is, I said to myself. There´s the way back to Thailand forever. Now the only problem is how do I earn enough money to do it with the current cab situation as it is now. That´s going to be a problem!

After driving for two months, I wasn´t saving very much money. The corruption of the black cab starters had worsened even more and the lease fee was hard to maintain. Then Francis, seeing that I was having a great problem earning money, offered me to buy his cab vehicle and switch cab companies at the same time. I would pay him payments as I worked and it was a good deal so I did it. After a few months work, Francis and I returned to Mexico for a month break from the cab business. It has been a year since I been to my house in Creel, Chihuahua, Mexico. My Mexican neighbors are probably wondering where I am.

We arrived back in Mexico and everything was still there and all my neighbors and friends were greeted. We spent about a month and it was good. It was very good to see everyone again and stay in my Mexico home. If only everyone knew that my real desire now was to live in Thailand, but I kept my mouth shut. Everyone wanted to know why I´ve been away for such a long time and I told them that it became difficult to earn money, and thus it took me much longer to save. In Mexico, you can loose your property if your not there for a long time. The Mexican people and government do not like that and will certainly confiscate your property. However, I have a good relationship with my neighbors and therefore they somewhat protected me.

Back to Denver and trying to earn money in the cab business. It took me awhile, but I managed to pay Francis back his money in full and save another $5000.00 to go back to Thailand to teach English. It was now January, 2001, almost two years from my last one month trip to Thailand. I enrolled in a TEFL course in Bangkok. I contacted the school and they gave me a letter for the Thai consulate so I can get a immigration B, one year visa. Everything was secured including my own apartment and off I went. My TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course began on the 28th of January, 2001, but I left earlier and arrived on January 10th so I can party for awhile at the Nana Hotel and shag before I get down to studying. When I arrived in Thailand, it was midnight but the clubs were open all night and I grabbed a girl and got down immediately. Happy once again! It´s so good to have a girl when you want one. For a man it´s very important. I could never do that in the states especially at the now age of 54. After shagging awhile, I contacted the school, paid my course fee, secured a nice apartment and had some nice teaching clothes made. I was ready to hit the books.

Unfortuately, on the 21st of January 2001, a new Prime Minister of Thailand was elected and it was this former cop and now billionaire named Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra and he immediately began a crackdown of the world famous Thai entertainment industry. In just three weeks after my arrival, the country was turned upside down. Many new laws were soon passed and he would eventually destroy the charm of Thailand, as Thailand becomes more of a police state. Richard Watson Todd works at the School of Liberal Arts, King Mongkut's University of Technology Thonburi made a subtle comment which discribed it best:

THAI VALUES UNDER SIEGE by Richard Watson Todd

Several qualities that make the Thai lifestyle so attractive are being undermined by the government's obsession with economics.

The Thaksin government is almost exclusively focused on improving economic growth, international competitiveness and income from exports. While no-one would argue that these economic issues do not warrant attention, there is a danger that the single-mindedness of government policies could have an adverse effect on other issues central to a good quality of life. A reasonable level of wealth is a prerequisite for a good quality of life, and so the government's attempts to strengthen the economy could be seen as generally improving people's lives. If, however, these economic initiatives can only succeed at the expense of societal and environmental assets, quality of life may actually diminish. The recent series of articles in the Bangkok Post on the unrestrained development of Koh Chang has shown how an emphasis on creating wealth can have wide-ranging adverse consequences on the environment. Less clear is the impact of the drive for economic growth on society. In many ways, Thai society provides a model for other countries. Indeed, in an ideal world Thailand would be exporting certain facets of its society to the benefit of other nations. Three inter-related social facets in particular are of great value _ tolerance, personal freedom, and the concept of sanuk _ but these are being undermined by the policies of the Thaksin government. Historically, Thailand has been a very accepting and accommodating society with high levels of tolerance for others. One clear example is the acculturation of Chinese immigrants. The Chinese community in Thailand see themselves as Thai first and Chinese second. This is not the case in other Southeast Asian countries, where the immigrant communities view themselves as primarily Chinese and racial tensions can run high. The integration of Chinese immigrants into Thai society largely comes down to the tolerance and acceptance of the Thai people. Another example is the gay community in Thailand, which in general is far less persecuted than in comparable countries. Again, a basic tolerance for others leads to a more harmonious society. Unfortunately, the continuing problems in the far South of Thailand, which have become so tragically serious under the two Thaksin governments, are providing a challenge to harmony and tolerance. There is a growing danger of general intolerance of Muslims, irrespective of their political beliefs. A second, more subtle type of intolerance which has been gaining ground since Thaksin came to power concerns the second of the valuable social assets of Thailand, namely, personal freedom. Thai society has a well-earned reputation for being non-judgmental concerning personal behaviour. As long as no-one is being harmed, traditionally people have had the personal freedom to do as they liked. Within the last five years, however, a host of small but voluble pressure groups has sprouted up with the aim of controlling how others behave. Always trying to take the moral high ground, these groups spread an atmosphere of intolerance as they attempt to restrict personal freedoms. Concomitantly, Thailand is following other countries in moving towards being a "nanny state", where personal behaviour is controlled by a plethora of annoying petty laws. Those hardest hit by the laws are those without a voice to defend themselves. Youth are an easy target, with the 10 p.m. curfew on under-sixteens and the ban on spaghetti straps typically oppressive puritanical dictates. The government appears to believe that children should spend all of their time studying, and any distractions, such as enjoying themselves, should be banned. Policies and statements by various politicians also imply that adolescents have a general attraction towards sin that must be pre-emptively repressed. All of this smacks of hypocrisy. It seems very unlikely that all of the politicians were angels in their adolescent days, especially if their adult behaviour is anything to go by. Along with a bevy of minor wives attached to Parliament, within the last few years a senator has been imprisoned for having sex with an underage girl, several politicians have been accused of rape but argued that they paid for the sex, and then there are the infamous "flower arrangers" who gave private lessons in bedrooms at a political function a few years ago. The need for morality appears only to apply to the unwashed masses whose personal freedom the politicians are always ready and willing to curb. What's wrong with a little fun? All of this brings us to the third social asset that is under threat _ the concept of sanuk, or fun. Ten years ago, Thais would proudly inform visitors of the importance of sanuk in Thailand, but the idea is disappearing fast. I cannot remember the last time I read a newspaper interview that included the idea of sanuk or heard someone speaking of the concept with pride. The government clearly, if not explicitly, disapproves of sanuk. Instead of citizens having fun and enjoying themselves, the government wants everyone to be sober hard-working automatons dedicated to the greater glory of the Thai economy (and, incidentally, putting more money in the pockets of the economic moguls running the country at present). Some of the petty regulations ostensibly introduced to solve other problems appear to really aim at reducing opportunities for sanuk. An example is the enforced closure of petrol stations at night, supposedly to save energy. This rule, however, has many problems. Firstly, given that petrol station mini-marts are still open 24 hours and brightly lit, it seems unlikely that the regulation is saving much energy. Secondly, there are many other more effective ways to save energy, such as setting a minimum temperature of, say, 25 degrees for all government offices (including the offices of ministers and permanent secretaries which are cooled to well below 20 degrees so that everyone can look suave by wearing a jacket). Thirdly, petrol stations offer much more than petrol _ where do you go at night if you're driving and get a puncture? The regulation to close petrol stations at night, then, does not seem to be a rational one. If, however, we view the regulation as a surreptitious way of controlling people's freedom to have sanuk, things become clearer. I am not arguing that everyone should be out-and-out hedonists, but enjoying life is important. After all, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" and the Thai concept of sanuk is a valuable way of increasing happiness and harmony. If the government continues to restrict sanuk, Thailand runs the risk of becoming drab and dull like the Singapore of a few years ago. Realising the importance of sanuk for society, the Singapore government has recently started promoting enjoyment and is actually spending large sums to make the island nation a more sanuk place. At present, Thailand still has the edge, but the Thai government seems to be doing its best to recreate the purely work-focused and dull social environment of old Singapore that the latter now acknowledges as a mistake. The three social facets of tolerance, personal freedom and sanuk are vital for a happy, healthy and harmonious society. Even focusing purely on economic growth, the Thaksin government's monomania, the three facets are important. Tourism is a key sector for the economy, and just as a degraded environment hinders tourism, a degraded society, one where intolerance, government control and dullness rule, will repel potential tourists. There is more to good governance than promoting the economy, and the role of governments is not to control the lives of citizens. Rather, governments need to focus on improving quality of life and a healthy, harmonious society is crucial to achieving this. More important than another half-point percentage increase in GDP are tolerance, personal freedom and, yes, even sanuk _ those social facets where Thailand has traditionally been a model for the world.

It took me 2 grueling months to finish the course with an A. I met a lot of fellow teachers and developed a good friendship with a man from Liverpool, England called Geoff. Geoff lived in Thailand for 25 years. He speaks fluent Thai and has a house in Pattaya, and had a famous son who was an actor, John Dylan, but he died in a car crash. More about him later! Anyway, I got very sick on graduation day. My body broke into an allergic reaction from and most probably shrimp seafood, and I could get rid of it. After numerous trips to the hospital without luck, I asked my buddy Geoff to admit me into the hospital. After two days, I finally got rid of it, but it cost me about 18,000 baht. Needed money gone to waste! The director of the TEFL school presented me with my diploma at the hospital room. After recovery, I began teaching immediately at the same school. Teaching is great! I´m enjoying it immensely, but I´m not getting a lot of money. I´m just about making my basic living expenses without gong out and having fun with the girls.

I taught English for six months, but my money was running low. I was down to my last $1000.00 and I was holding my own, but I needed more time to get a full time job with a work permit. I had to go outside of the country and return every ninety days to renew my visa permit. It was a multiple entry permit for a year, but that meant that I had to exit and re-enter Thailand every ninety days. What a pain. It was a full day´s work traveling on the bus to Cambodia, the nearest crossing, leaving and re-entering the country and returning back to Bangkok, a full lost day at a cost of 2100 Baht. So now I was faced with another dilemma. I can stay, and I can possibly survive or I could return to the States and earn another five-grand and return with a more substantial amount of money to build on my teaching career. The longer I can hang out here the more contacts I will get and the more work and possible work permit I could achieve. So I thought about it for awhile and I did need more money to survive, therefore, I made the decision to return back to the States to earn more money. The TEFL course expenses, the living expenses, the clothes and book expenses, the visa run expenses, and mostly the hospital expenses all brought my saving to a low state. So while everything was going good, I made the decision to return to the States to earn more money. Now, when I return, all those expenses could be behind me and I could have a fresh start teaching in Thailand again. Therefore, I notified the school that I was returning back to the States and that I will be back within six months. Everyone including my student´s were very sad to see me leave. I was sad too. I really didn´t want to go back, but I didn´t anticipate the expenses I would encounter, but now I have a better idea of the situation here in Thailand, and I will return better prepared to manage my money better. I bought my ticket and off I went.

I arrived back in Denver on September 6th, 2001. Being in culture shock, and unhappy to be back in the States, I relaxed a few days at my buddy Jim´s house. He was happy to see me again and he knew I was unhappy to be back. I decided to publish the second part of the Thailand trip to vent my frustrations:

Before The Crackdown Part 2

I was able to save some money and return to Thailand six months later in 1998. I couldn't wait to do it all over again, this time, for an entire month. I also couldn't wait to see that B&W girl again. Not that I loved her, just to see the surprise on her face when she sees my return.

Before I arrived in Bangkok, I did some research on the net, and learned about Nana Plaza, which I don't understand how I missed it the last time I was there. Thermae, how did I miss that one also, and Pattaya. On this trip I decided to spend two weeks in Bangkok and two weeks in Pattaya. I am also going to stay at the Nana Hotel, directly in the heart of the action. No fooling around this time.

I arrived at the Nana Hotel at 10 AM and slept until 7 PM. I dressed and went to Cowboy to surprise her. When I approached, most of the girls outside the club recognized me and called out to her, but she didn't hear them. I walked inside and noticed her sitting at a stool at the bar with her back towards me. I quietly sat down directly next to her. I kept my face straight and noticed through the corner of my eye that she looked and studied me. I jokingly ignored her studying me, but she said, to my surprise, nothing! I still kept my face forward as I ordered a drink. The other girls came up to my right and kissed me hello again, but her, on my left, still did not utter a word. I thought that she was trying to play the game better than me, so finally, I turned to look at her, and she looked at me face to face. There was no reaction on her part. Shocked, I asked, "Do you wanna drink?" She smiled a bit and said yes. I said, "How are you?" She replied, "Fine, and you?" "Mm, Ok," I thought.

After five minutes of useless reaction, I got up off the stool and sat in a booth. The English speaking mamasan recognized me and joined me at the booth. I couldn't believe now many girls are employed here now, at least three times as many girls as the time before. I seen the little girl I was after the first time I arrived here last trip, dancing on the stage. There were so many girls that they couldn't all barely fit on the stage. I asked the mamasan what is the matter with my girl. She replied, "Things just change!" "I guess so," I replied, "Where did all these girls come from?" She said that many of the girls switched from Long Gun. Suddenly, the girl slowly walked to my booth and sat down next to me. It was like meeting her for the first time. There was nothing there, but I really didn't care. It's just that I had a great time with her last time when things were different. She is not really looking as good as she used to...maybe she sees the same about me...I don't know, and I'm not going to worry or get bent about it. There are just too many beautiful girls here, and many of the other girls are still coming up to me, saying hello. Doesn't seem to be anything lost here. It is kind of a shock though...kind of unexpected. My girl had to get on the stage to dance. I watched for a bit, and decided to leave. I didn't want to be dealing with any of this right now. This is my first evening in Bangkok, so I'm going to check-out the area that everyone's been talking about, Nana Plaza.

Wow! Nana Plaza is smoking! Look at all the beautiful girls. How did I miss this the last time? It's overwhelming! I sat at the outdoor bar next to Rainbow 2. I want to watch for bit...to take the whole thing in, and have a little time to think of my next move. I chattered with my drinking neighbor who described the situation to me in detail. The girls dipping in and out of Rainbow 2 are awesome. My neighbor said that the beauties will only go a short time for 1000 baht. As I watched the girls, I noticed a lot of lesbian activity going on with one another. The more I watched, the more I knew that they were lesbians. They sure are beautiful though. I made friends with the lady behind the bar. She told me that many of the girls are indeed lesbians. I decided to walk around a bit and see what Nana Plaza is all about.

After I scoped the first floor, I walked around the second, then the third. All very interesting! I entered a little place on the third floor, which I think was called, Hollywood. I met this petite girl that turned me on immediately so I took her to my room for long time. It was great, and this little thing fucked the shit of me.

The next day, I returned to the bar just outside of Rainbow 2 again. My drinking neighbor from last night was also there again. It was his regular starting position and thus, because I enjoyed him, I made it mine also. We would chat for hours and watch the girls coming to work. This way, we could pick one out quickly before anyone had a chance to hit on them. I did this for the remainder of my two week stay in Bangkok. I had a wonderful time, but now it's off to Pattaya.

Pattaya is incredible, and half the price. The nightlife is superb. Had I known this before hand, I would have stayed in Bangkok for a week and spent three weeks in Pattaya, but its time to get depressed and return to Farangland.

In Farangland, I spent a year working before volunteering to teach English in a nearby country for six months. Then I returned back to Farangland.

Then, while still having the Thailand bug in me, I just happened to come across Stickman's website, Teaching English in Thailand. "Oh my God," I thought, "They need English teachers in Thailand." I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel. I taught college level for 10 years, but not English. I was asked to help teach English in a nearby country. I didn't know much about teaching English, so I made it up as I went along. I did a very good job of it, and most of all, I enjoyed it very much. So coming across Stickman's site was a blessing.

I worked hard to saved some more money and applied to a TEFL course over the internet and was accepted. I made all the necessary arrangements and documents. I planned to spend the first 5 days at the Nana Hotel to get my rocks off, and then get down into serious TEFL study.

I arrived in Thailand in the year 2001 at 2:00 AM. Two years after my last trip. My flight had been delayed. I was supposed to arrive at 11 PM. Now that I'm in a taxi heading for Nana Hotel, everything will probably be closed when I arrive. As I entered Nana, I heard the music in the disco. I quickly put my bags in my room at Nana, and immediately ran down to the disco that was still jamming in full bloom.

Things seemed a lot different, especially the girls, but it felt great to be back. I had very little sex in Farangland, so I couldn't wait to get down with someone. I relaxed in the disco for a few hours, and finally, at 5 AM, I snagged a girl for a short-time, even though the disco was still jamming strong.

I awoke at 4:00 PM. I wondered if anyone I knew was still around. The first place would be the outdoor bar by Rainbow 2 in Nana Plaza. I think I'll start there for a drink. I went at the outdoor bar, but it was all new faces. I had heard that a new Prime Minister of Thailand had just been elected a week before my arrival. As I watched the girls coming to work as I did two years ago, I was flabbergasted. The girls weren't very pretty. As time went by, I didn't see one girl that looked half way decent. "What the f**k is going on here," I thought. I never saw so many ugly run-down girls in all my life. Can this be true? Not only that, but I've been sitting here for three hours, and not even one girl made an attempt to come up to talk with me. Wow, this is depressing! I decided to walk around the plaza thinking that maybe I might have missed something.

As I walked around from one level to the next, I realized the change. It seemed that there were no girls under 20 years old anymore, and they were much fatter. It didn't seem right. Could Nana Plaza have declined so badly? I decided to head out to Cowboy. I wonder if my old girl is still around. I have to see what the girls look like over there.

As I entered Cowboy, I noticed the brighter neon lights and all the new bars. As I walked through the Soi up to B&W, which is still there, the girls seemed just as ugly as Nana. As I approached B&W, I saw one of the girls I knew, and she recognized me immediately. We hugged, and said our hello's. I asked what happened with my girl. She told me that she had married a farang and was now living in Farangland, and that she got very fat. She invited me to come inside. When I entered, the first thing I noticed was the lack of girls. The club looked exactly the same, but it was empty. The bar only had about ten girls working. "What happened to all the girls," I asked my friend. "Some got married and some went home," she replied. "Yeah, but there used to be so many," I told her. She stated that the owner bought all these clubs next to B&W and he spread them out amongst all the clubs. "Yea, but they look a lot older," I responded. She added, "New government! New law! Girl must be 20 to work here!" I stated, "Shit that sucks!" She agreed and said, "Police are cracking down on the clubs." There was no action here so I told her that I would visit her at another time. This sucks! I must head to Patpong. Kings Castle always has great looking girls.

I arrived at Patpong, and the garbage selling market is still brewing strong. I went directly to Kings Castle 2 for air-conditioning and a beer. KC2 was packed, but just like Nana and Cowboy, the girls weren't good looking and a lot older. I noticed one beauty, but one couldn't get near her. Too many Japanese! The others were less than desirable. Very high pressure! Girls wanted a drink right away or they're history. The last time I came, I was able to sit down; a girl would talk to me first, and then ask for a drink to negotiate. Now they sit down and ask for a drink, and if you try to talk with them first, they'll bug you constantly. If you don't buy them a drink, they'll walk away. It's changed quite a bit.

After cooling off for a while and experiencing more of the high pressure, I decided to check-out some of the other clubs. I went to some of the upstairs clubs, but they were also horrible. Ugly girls! I went into KC1. The girls were ugly there also. It was very depressing! I decided to head back to Nana. My last resort was Angles disco. "Shit! This is not the Thailand I knew," I thought.

During the motorbike ride back to Nana, I thought of the hot young girl two years ago at KC2 that wanted 5000 baht. I thought of all the beautiful girls at Cowboy that I used to hang around with that showed me a great time, and who I had so many laughs with. I flashed at all the stunning girls at Nana Plaza. It is all gone thanks to this new government crackdown. Despite it all, I was still happy to be back in Thailand, and to begin a new career teaching English.

I entered Nana disco at 12 PM and immediately noticed some very pretty girls. "Yeah, this was more like it," I thought. I met some hot looking girls, and again, danced until 5:30 in the morning. I took one of the girls up to my room for a short-time, 1000 baht.

The following day, I contacted my school, and made arrangements to secure an apartment. Since the bar scene isn't so great anymore, I decided to cut my Nana Hotel stay short, and get down into school work.

My apartment was great and I immediately met some other teachers who graduated before me. I paid for my TEFL course, my apartment and security deposit. The TEFL course was great and I did excellent work, but the heat and pollution eventually caught up to me after my graduation. I got sick! I broke-out into some kind of a allergic reaction. I could not get rid of it and wound-up in the hospital for a few days. When it was over, it cost me nearly 20,000 baht.

With my certificate in hand, I needed to find a job quickly, and I did. I secured a job in a prestigious English school at 31,000 baht a month. I also began running the AC in my apartment to keep my body cool to avoid getting sick in the future.

I began teaching, and it was great except, I had to teach children on the weekends, Saturday and Sunday all day. It was very difficult teaching children and very tiring. My load during the week was very light, mostly adults! The adults were wonderful and anxious to learn. But then, things began quickly to go sour.

The school began issuing split-shifts to me. 8 to 10 AM followed by 6 to 8 PM, three days a week. This meant that I had to be in bed early every night. I began complaining forcefully to the director of the school. The schedule began to relax slowly, but under severe protest from the two female farang Dos's they employed. They were definitely feminists that loved to stick daggers into men's backs. My split-schedule changed from 10 AM to 12 PM and 6 PM to 8 PM. I was stuck in the school all day. I could have gone home and returned later, but the immense heat would have liquefied my clothes. I simply tolerated all of it in order to gain valuable experience. I tried very hard to be patient and a part of the team, but the team was very strange.

After the first couple of weeks of teaching, when I had the time, I would trek to Sukumvit for ladies. What I had learned was that the new government began closing all the bars at 2 AM. I could not believe this! Every bar had to have their doors closed by 2:00 AM, but this new policy did not begin this way. It began by closing the bars down at 12:30 AM, and sometimes at 1:30 AM. The police presence was unbelievable and overwhelming. I have never ever seen so many policemen at one time in the trips I visited Thailand.

I had heard that the police swooped-down on Patpong in full force at 12:30 AM and closed everything down. The tourists and girls throughout all the go-go venues in Bangkok were walking about the areas like a chicken without a head, not knowing what to do or where to go.

At RCA, the police set-up entrance blocks to prevent underage Thais from entering the area. The police did this for two weeks straight then disappeared. Two weeks later, just before 2 AM, the police returned in full force with riot gear, SWAT teams, and dogs to prevent anyone leaving the clubs. The Thais had to exit the club doors one by one to be checked for ID's and / or drugs. Many were arrested. Kind of reminds me of the RTD movie I did in Denver about the police crackdown of the rave scene. Seems like Thailand is becoming a police state.

On night, when I was returning home by taxi from a evening at Sukumvit, there was a police road block set-up at the exit ramp off the highway where I lived at 2 AM. I didn't know who they were looking for, but they were obviously looking to see if I was with someone when the police passed us through. I was with no one, but if I was with a girl under 20 years old, I might have been in deep trouble. Luckily, I didn't take a girl home that evening.

I'm a new English teacher in Thailand that enjoys his work, but also wants to have fun. Being amongst a police state is not fun, especially, after arriving here to begin a new career. The current long-term crack-down is taking the fun away from Thailand. I'm enjoying teaching, but I'm not enjoying the limits now presented on the nightlife. It's not a good time to be here.

Most of my fellow teachers at my school were from Britain. They appeared to not like someone who wasn't from Britain. They're insidious remarks toward me was evidence of that, and being the oldest wasn't anymore helpful. I loved the night-life, and loved to go dancing. They all did not! Their idea of a good night out in Thailand was to eat and drink at a dull Thai restaurant close to the school and talk politics about British life. So it was difficult to be amongst them.

Their personal lives were tantamount to their mentality. One handsome young teacher had a dyke Thai girlfriend who ran a ladyboy bar. Another male teacher came to me and told me that his Thai woman had disappeared with all his money. My reply was, "there are many fish in the sea!" He responded angrily, "don't talk about my relationship like that...I love her." Another male teacher was playing a game with his class and separated them into two groups. He labeled one group, The Idiots and another group The Dunces and he wondered why his students complained and why he got in trouble for that.

One of the female Dos's was the girlfriend of the only male Dos. He was a great guy, he said little, was always helpful, but his girlfriend Dos was a bitch. The other female Dos had a musician Thai boyfriend. She tried to act like your best friend in order to gain personal information about you so that she could stick a dagger in your back when she had the chance. The two female Dos's confided in one another and carried out each others personal vendetta wishes.

There was a teacher's room where all the teachers would hang-out during our 10 minute break between classes. The conversations that went on during that ten minute break were unbelievable. It was always British related small talk. Nothing of substance or relevance; Nothing about teaching, music, philosophy, art, or socialism. Most of the time, I couldn't understand them, because they would turn on they're heavy British accent. Eventually, I decided to spend my breaks in my classroom. It was quiet and the parents and children enjoyed me being there when they arrived.

After my first month, I received my first pay check. With all the deductions my check was 27,000 baht. Within three weeks, I found how difficult it was to live and enjoy life on that salary. When I totalled all my expenses for the month it was like this:

Apartment..............4,500 AC & Water & Elect.3,500 Mobile Telephone......500 Clothes Cleaning.......500 Groceries...............1,500 Eating out food......3,000 Cigarettes..............1,500 Taxi....................... 800 Total......15,800 Deduct that from 27,000 and I have 11,200 to play with for the month. Not much to play with.

I didn't figure in going out with a friend for dinner or a beer, and I didn't figure internet time or a movie. A basic night at Sukumvit without bringing home a girl or buying a girl a drink is just under 1000 baht, which includes round trip taxi fare. Add a girl, and the minimum would be, 2000 baht, and sometimes, a little more.

So basically, it adds up to this. I can pay my bills and go out to have a lady once a week. Not a great lifestyle. In fact, I have to hide my cigarettes from the other teachers, because after the third week, all the teachers at my school are broke. They also try to borrow money from anyone.

I didn't enjoy just being able to meet my bills and only going out once a week. I tried to budget myself, but I could not enjoy living like that. So I eventually spent more than I was making. Under my employment contract, I was not allowed to work for anyone else to earn extra money. I wanted to honor my word and contract so, I didn't except outside work even though other schools began contacting me.

I brought my best friend, who is also British and an excellent teacher, to meet with my fellow workers for a drink. Being British, like most of them, he also found them to be a very strange group. I think they thought the same about him. He stood out in the crowd, and clashed with many of them. I then brought him to meet the Thai female Director of the school. She was telling him about the school and then stated, "This school has quality students. We keep the riff-raff out of this school." We both freaked when she said that, but held our cool. When we exited, my friend said, "Did you hear what she said?" "I sure did!" I responded. "I felt like slamming her," my friend replied. "She was talking about poor people," I said, "What a fucking shame". Afterwards, I began loosing respect for the school. I also began loosing interest teaching children. Twelve little children in each class all day long Saturday and Sunday eventually caught up to me. I was tired of it. I wanted only to teach teenagers and adults.

As soon as my work permit became closer to being finalized, the Director began increasing demands on me. They kind of juggle it in front of your face and state, do this my way or go somewhere else.

After working three months for this school, I resigned. The salary wasn't enough. I felt like I barely existed. I didn't enjoy teaching mass amounts of children. My fellow teachers were dull and lifeless. My Director disliked poor people. My split-shifts did not cease. Therefore, I resigned under good terms, and I eventually received my Thailand Teachers License.

I mostly talked about the negative aspects of my employment, because I think it is important to anyone to know what to expect. If you think that the English teaching profession and politics are different in Thailand, it is not.

I must add that my Director was also very helpful to me, and had an open-door policy. Anytime I needed advise on how to go about achieving a certain goal, she was there to help and guide me. She taught me a lot.

Some of my fellow workers, however dull, were very nice people and welcomed me, and provided wonderful assistance.

My children students were all wonderful and I enjoyed them all immensely. Having mass amounts of them all day is another story.

Thus, when I finished my last day of work for the school, I felt a great sigh of relief. After my visa run, I began freelancing. Now, I'm enjoying all of my teaching work elsewhere.

In Denver, I had given my former taxi to the cab company to satisfy my automatic transition repair bill before I left for Thailand and now that I returned, that company had been bought out. So out of the five original cab companies in Denver, there are now only two. So I re-applied to the company which I had worked for in the past, and got accepted. However, in order to pay a lower lease fee, I had to buy one of their cabs. This is the new cab situation here. I would pay them a certain amount of money each week for the cab plus the lease fee. I would have a brand new year 2001 cab vehicle but it would cost me about $800.00 a week including gas. If I am lucky, maybe I can save about $500.00 a week. It will take longer to earn enough money to return to Thailand, but I am determined to do it. Just one more time, just one more earning of $5000.00 and I will be gone from this cab business for good and back to Thailand for the remainder of my life happily teaching.

The cab company paperwork was all completed by Friday and on Tuesday, September 11th, 2001 I will get my cab. On Tuesday, I woke up early and decided to get some breakfast before I head out to the cab company to pick up my vehicle. I walked into the restaurant about 8AM. I walked in and everybody seemed glued to the TV. I had no clue as to what was going on and I proceeded to my table and ordered some breakfast. I decided while waiting for the breakfast to arrive at the table to go out to get a newspaper to read. I returned back into the restaurant with my newspaper and walked to the manager and employees who were watching the TV. I asked them what was going on. They said that the World Trade Center in New York was blown up. For some reason, maybe it was instant shock, I couldn't grasp their statement. I remember from hearing in Thailand abut the new President George Bush and how everyone was talking about how he ruined the US economy which was very good under Bill Clinton. So I said to them, not really understanding what had just transpired, I said as a joke, They should blow up George Bush, I heard he really screwed the economy here. The manager and the employee said to me that a lot of people had just died. I thought to myself, Well, a lot of people die everyday, how come you´re not concerned about the Palestinians. However, I kept my mouth shut. Then they told me that the Towers came down and they were no more. Again I thought to myself, Well that´s a relief, I always hated those capitalistic buildings, but again I kept my thoughts to myself. I really still didn´t get the full grasp of what had just happened. Anyway, I sat back down at my table and my eggs had arrived. I began eating and tried to read the paper, but now the TV news was finally entering my brain and slowly it began sinking in. Then it hit me! My brain focused on listening to the TV sound and then I froze for a few moments. All of a sudden I couldn´t eat anymore and I lost all concentration. I though to myself the I got to return to Jim´s house to see what was going on and I immediately went back to the house.

I return to the house put on the TV and watched. As I watched the plane hit the Tower like a Hollywood movie, to me it was the greatest thing I had ever seen and I stood up a cheered at the TV over and over again. Fucking GREAT! To me, it was like watching your football team making the final score for the championship. It was the an attack on the New World Order guys. Great precision and timing! And when the Towers came tumbling down, I cheered loudly as if my team had won. It was the greatest thing my eyes had ever seen. I immediately thanked God that I was alive to witness this event. I remember when the Tower´s were built, and I remember what my country turned into after the Towers were completed. I felt extremely sad for the many innocent people who lost their lives, and the many people working in those Towers, but in reality, most of the people who worked there were not so innocent. Although many of them didn´t really know it, but they were all engaged in manipulating countries and people´s sovereignty and culture all over the world through money manipulation. Those Towers were a representation of the World Bank, the IMF, the WHO, which had given greater powers of the UN and the NSC. The first erection of those capitalistic towers began 3 years after they killed President Kennedy, his brother Robert and Martin Luther King. So to me it was a capitalistic monument to a future I never wanted, planned by the powers that be, who in my opinion were responsible for the death of all those influential people in my life, and I never ever liked the WTC. The cutting of the ribbon ceremony of the WTC was in 1970 when the music and peace movement had finally died which was also signified by the break-up of The Beatles. Prices of everything shot up after 1970 and the world was never the same ever again. I attribute the building of the WTC as a change especially for the worse. So to me, the fall of those Towers was great, and New York City will look a lot better without those capitalistic Towers. The way New York should appear to the world, but I know the money powers will eventually build something else in its place. The Empire State building and the Statue of Liberty is now all that remains and that is just about perfect for my taste. Will people really understand this event? Some might! I don´t know, but I don´t think most of them will or ever admit to it, but I know now that this tragedy will hopefully make them stop and think. I know people can not understand my view of the world, but one reading of Chapter 47 and you might understand my thought process.

After spending a few hours enjoying the action against capitalism, the telephone rang. It was the cab company telling me that the police had just called them and told them not to hire any new cab drivers for at least a week and that all the airports in the country were closed until further notice. I just now realized that my future for earning money had just gone down the drain. Capitalism got hit hard so I must suffer too! I returned from Thailand at the wrong time, but how was I to know. Bad Luck for me! I wished I was back in Thailand. As the hours past, it became more apparent how difficult it is going to be to make money now. I could be stuck here in the States for a long time.

How naive I am! After all that I've read and understood, the evidence would later on all point to the Illuminati and the United States Government for the WTC event.

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After the week had past, I finally made it to the cab company to pick up my cab. The fellow driver´s hanging out there told me that business is very bad and it´s a bad time to begin work, but what can I do. I need to begin working again. They told me that the airport was closed and that all the airport jockeys are now driving in the streets and that the competition will be fierce. Some of the drivers made thousands of dollars as soon as the airports closed because many people were stranded. They took people to California and other places throughout the country because there was no other way they could get there during the crisis. I missed out on that. I could have made some fast bucks, but now I´m stuck in the aftermath. I ran the streets for a few days and it was difficult to make money, but the airport finally re-opened again and now I was back into my old working routine sleeping at the airport in my cab.

I was slow at first, but it began to pick up a bit, but it never really return to normal. It took me six months of continuous driving to save about $2700 and it appeared that things were beginning to return to normal. However, my body was deteriorating and I began to urinate blood. I went to the hospital to check it out but the doctors were very busy and I had to wait a lot of weeks to be seen. Sometimes, I couldn´t urinate, because of a blockage of blood. A hot shower made the blood clots urinate out of my penis, but it made me cry in despair. I was falling apart. My body couldn´t take it anymore, but I could not leave the business, because I didn´t have enough money. Many times I had to leave the airport because of this and return back to Jim´s house to take a hot shower to clear it up. Afterwards, I would break out in tears of despair for an hour. I became very sad and I felt that my life was coming to an end and I even contemplated committing suicide. I thought I would never ever return to teaching in Thailand, and the Thailand vision was very far away. I could no longer see the light. It was the sleeping in the cab that was causing this deterioration and I didn´t know what to do.

Suddenly, I received a emergency call from a friend in Mexico. Jim took the message on his answering machine which stated that someone tried to break into my house and I should come there as soon as possible. I became very concerned and decided that it was a good time to get away from the cab and take a month off to return to my house. It would make me feel better and put me in a better state of mind. It´s been almost two years since I´ve been there and I´m sure everyone in Mexico must think that I´m dead, so I immediately returned.

I arrived in Creel, Chihuahua a week later and it was great to be back to my house and see Margarita again. It was a great pick-me-up and I was happy to be away from the cab. At my house, it appeared that someone did try to break in. The broke a window and tried to break through the door, but my neighbors heard them and as my neighbors approached ran away. My neighbors and everyone else surely thought that I had died. They were very happy to see me again and I was glad to be back after two years time. I made an arrangement with my neighbor who is a carpenter to build a new window and a secure wooden fence surrounding the house. Actually, the house is actually only a 14x14 log cabin, but it is my house and that is what I call it. So we started to build the new secure windows and fence and I was doing annual hard labor every day. I was good for my body and I stopped bleeding for awhile, but occasionally I would see some slight blood coming out with my urine. I felt pretty good though and I was building up some much needed strength. My mind was happy and that is what I needed to remain healthy. If the mind is happy then the body is too. I wound up staying longer about over 1 ½ months, and I spent about 1500 dollars making the renovations and with expenses. When I returned to Denver I had only $1000 left, the same as when I arrived back to the States from Thailand. So in reality, the six months that I was able to save 3000 dollars was now wasted. All I though about was how I was going to keep my body healthy earning more money.

I returned to driving a cab and sleeping once again in the airport holding lot. I tried to walk around while I waited the three normal hours for a fare. I was doing well for a month and then the business dropped. I tried to save money but the business got so bad and the cab starter corruption got very bad. They were giving me a lot of short runs and I had to dip into my savings to pay my lease. Shortly thereafter, I began urinating blood again and I began to cry in despair once again. My mind began to fall apart.

My buddy Jim whose house I stayed at was looking for a way to finance his yearly sailing trip with a good friend of ours that owns a sailboat in Florida. With the WTC incident, he had problems earning money too. So he was looking for alternatives. Through his best friend who was a loan broker, he was able to secure a second mortgage on his house even though his good credit rating prevented it. Eventually, he was able to get $200,000 dollars. He was so happy because he wouldn´t be able to go on the trip if this was not possible. He was going sailing for two months and wanted me to take care of the house while he was gone. Jim knew my sad situation with the bleeding and he gave 1000 dollars to see a doctor while he was gone. He told me that the money was free. That I didn´t have to pay him back, but he wanted me to promise to see a doctor. I refused to take his money, but he insisted I see a doctor and to use the money for that. He put the money in the draw and went on his sailing trip. Actually, the money made me feel better because now I put it with the 1000 I had and now suddenly I had $2000. It maid me feel like I progressed somewhat.

I returned to driving but each week I was losing the battle of just making my lease and I had to dip into my savings to pay the cab company. As the weeks gone buy, I was getting weaker and weaker and losing more and more money with my expensive lease fee. Then a big drawback suddenly appeared. My driver´s license was up for renewal and when I went to get it renewed, I learned that my driving privileges had been revoked because of non payment of a speeding ticket last October. It seems that the mail-in payment was never received and the city suspended my license. I had to stop working and get this situation taken care of. I return my cab back to the company and told them I will be back when it is all cleared up. The company was very supportive and offered any help that I may need from them. It took about three weeks going from one Motor Vehicle Department to another and going from one court to another and contacting the Money Order Company for the final receipt of payment. I had the receipt that I tried to make the payment with and the courts and Motor Vehicle people were nice about it, but when it was all done and cleared up, it cost me $500.00. Then I had to add another $250.00 a week later to that from another speeding ticket I got a week later in a school zone doing 35 in a 25MPH zone. I cleared it all up and it could have been worse since I got the second ticket during the suspension time. Yes, I cleared it all up with part of Jim´s doctor money he left with me. I was now bankrupt! I returned to the cab company with a new copy of my driving cleared, and told them I would come back next week to drive again, but that was not the case. I wasn´t going to drive anymore. I was bankrupt!

I decided that I was going to try to work a regular job like maybe at a 7-11 neighborhood store. It would be good to do manual labor and get my body back to help and maybe save some money for Thailand. I was desperate and applied for work and waited for a response. Meanwhile, Jim returned from the sailing trip to learn that I was bankrupt. Jim wasn´t concerned about his money I spent. He thought it was a good thing that I cleared all my records up by paying the courts, but he didn´t like the idea of me working at 7-11 during the graveyard shift. He said it was dangerous working those hours and that I could get myself killed. I told him that I had no way out. I was desperate. It s been now 16 months since I returned from Thailand to make some money after the September 11th thing and I was now bankrupt. I got so depressed while waiting for a reply from my applications that I decided to commit suicide.

I sneaked out with Jim´s car keys one night while he was sleeping and I took a hose and some duck tape and drove to a remote area near the airport. I took some valiums and attached the hose with tape to the cars tailpipe and put the other end of the hose through the back window. I taped the widows for leaks and I sat in the car ready to turn on the ignition. I prayed to God for forgiveness of what I was about to do. Then I sat there ready. As I thought for a moment about teaching in Thailand, about how great it could have been, I decided not to go through with it. I thought at that time that the suffering of life through these hard times would be a challenge to go on. So I called it off and returned to Jim´s house ready to give my life another chance.

The next day, Jim, who had been unaware at my revelations, asked me how much I needed to return back to Thailand. I was surprized, and told him about five to seven thousand dollars. He stated that he would loan me 5,000 to return. My eyes lit up in excitement. Jim stated that it was just a loan and that I would have to make an effort to pay him back when I returned. My health immediately came right back to me and I contacted my buddy Geoff in Thailand and told him I would be back within the month. I would learn that the loan was hot without a hitch. Jim told me that he was going to renovate his house because that was the original intention he got the money. So he told me that when I returned from Thailand, I won´t be able to live at his house anymore. I would have to find another place to live. I thought to myself. Well, if I don´t have a place to live, how the fuck am I going to pay him back when or if I return. I´m supposed to rent a place and pay him back at the same time? I didn't think that would be very probable! Instead, I replied that it was not a problem even though I only knew that I planned to never return to the U.S. again if I got out. Anyway, with the generous help from a great friend my life had suddenly been renewed and I was off back to Thailand, but my mind was totally burnt. I needed time in Thailand to get out of the depression I was in. Good sex with a beautiful Thai girl might certainly snap me out of it.