The Musician... see you among the stars

The Guitar player in Benny´s group was Sammy Gordon. He was not related to Benny, they just shared the same last name. Sammy and I had become good friends. I wanted very badly to learn some of his great guitar licks. He had a strange way of playing guitar. When I asked him what chord he was playing, he didn´t know. We both had no formal lessons. We both learned by ear except I knew the chords I was playing and he did not. I often tried to examine Sammy´s style of playing. I would try to pick out some of his lines. Now that we are the main band at Trude´s, I am becoming close to him. We were able to work together and build a competing friendship. Sammy also wanted to learn some of my licks. It wanted us to get together to exchange chords and licks, but it was difficult because when I wasn´t on stage he was. I'm going to have to find a solutuion. I want to learn some of his riffs.

Meanwhile, I have, since The Eighth Wonder, been seeing Barbara often. On the weekends after the gig, I drove Barbara home to Jersey City, New Jersey. Once there I would park my car under this desolate overpass that has barely any street lights, and Barbara and I would make-out for hours. We would make-out until the sun came out. We practically did that almost every weekend, Friday and Saturday nights. Barbara had a great little body, and she liked me very much. When we finally were promoted to Trude Heller´s, Barbara and her friends could very rarely come to see us, because it was too packed and a lot more expensive. So I used to tell Barbara to meet me at the neighborhood bar just up the block from Trude´s on West 9th Street. This is where the band and I hung out on our breaks. Every weekend up until 3:00am in the morning, Barbara would be waiting for me. However, A new female was about to enter the picture.

Trude hired a new female dancer. Her name was Yvonne. She was from France and a ballet dancer with the Jodfrey Ballet in New York. Yvonne had an apartment in the West Village at 7th Avenue and Perry Street. She was a tall slim blonde-haired girl with a most incredible body and looks. She had a beautiful petite mouth with a great smile. She was very difficult to get to know, but she soon became attracted to me. One night, Yvonne invited me to her apartment after work for a drink. I accepted of course, and after talking with her for a while, she asked me to sleep over. We eventually entered her bed, but honestly, I had never had sex with a girl before. I did not know exactly what to do? She started to massage my penis and I started to message her vagina. I was feeling for the opening to where I was supposed to put it. I felt something, she was very tight, and I did not know if that was exactly the spot. She positioned her self in a way to guide me. I was afraid of making a stupid mistake. I just let her be the director. I finally got it in, and boy, it felt fantastic. She started moaning and moaning and I eventually came inside her. It was a wonderful first sexual feeling. Yvonne is a very hot and beautiful looking girl.

The next day, Yvonne made me breakfast and treated me like a king. She had a wonderful little two-room apartment that was very quiet situated on the top floor of this four-story brownstone. The next night at work, I told Yvonne that I felt very comfortable at her apartment. She smiled, and asked me to come home with her again.

The only problem I had was trying to get a parking space for my car in her neighborhood. My large Impala convertible had problems fitting anywhere. I would have to drive around and around until I found a place to park. Manhattan is very difficult if you own a car, but that is not going to stop me being with this French beauty.

We had sex again, and the following morning Yvonne requested that I move in with her. She handed me a key to the apartment in the evening when we returned to Trude´s to work. What a score, I am now finally out of my house in Brooklyn. Thank God I won´t have to drive back and forth everyday and thank God I can get away from the negativity. I am very happy and proud to have such a wonderful beautiful girlfriend.

One of the first things I did, now that I was living with Yvonne, was to invite Sammy Gordon over after work to jam and exchange licks. Sammy agreed and taught me the black R&B way to play chords and I taught him leads. Sammy was not very good at lead guitar, and he had much difficulty playing the licks I showed him. He was more of a rhythm king. We would jam together for hours. After awhile, I was progressing better than Sammy was. I was enthusiastic about learning and I was normally very talented in anything I did.

Yvonne was slim, which I liked in a girl, and she was beautiful. She would occasionally teach me ballet steps. She had a gay Filipino male friend and fellow ballet dancer named Amadeo. He also began working at Trude Heller´s. Amadeo´s father was in the hierarchy of government in the Philippines. Amadeo was a wonderful person who would stretch his heart to anyone. Yvonne and I were the talk of the town, and everyone told us that we are the perfect match. We were both very happy and very much in love.

One morning, I went to my car and it had a big deep slash on the side of it. From what I can tell, I had parked the car on the end of the corner, and a truck was turning, and the turn was not wide enough to clear me. Truckers seem not to give a shit about cars. I was devastated that I had this gash on my driver´s side. Not worth declaring with the insurance company having a $500.00 deductible.

I couldn´t believe how wonderful it is to live in Manhattan, especially the West Village. It is so quiet and pretty on Perry Street. It is so wonderful to be there right in the middle of everything. You just walk out of your apartment and there it is. Yvonne´s rent payment was $99.00 a month. It appears that the apartment was under rent control and she received the lease from a friend. The apartment was quaint. As you walked in, on the right it had a bar type counter with stools and behind that, a tiny kitchen with mini stove/oven and sink. To the left was a short hallway, about four feet that led to the small bedroom. The hallway area held the bathroom, which had a tub. Past the bar type kitchen area is a small spacious living room that faced the street. The two windows facing the street in the living room had a fire escape in which you could sit out on. I am lucky to be living at 79 Perry Street with such a beautiful sexy French girl. The only problem is my car and where to put it everyday.

Meanwhile, at Trude Hellers, a journalist came to me and wanted to interview me for the New York Daily News about the upcoming raise in the drinking age from the now 18 years old to 21 years old. I said, "Sure!" The next day my picture was in the newspaper. Barbara is still coming to watch us perform, and she wants to be with me very badly. I liked Barbara a great deal, but I wasn´t going to risk my beautiful French dancer especially since I´m living with her in the city. Barbara had no idea I was living with Yvonne. I needed to keep it that way, because I liked Barbara also. Therefore, I needed to make-up excuses to keep our relationship alive.

Yvonne and I are living together quite happily, and the band received our one week break from Trude Heller´s.

We now have a new booking agent; the world famous, William Morris Agency, and they took charge of booking us into another venue during our Trude Heller break. They booked us at the famous Metropole Cafe in Times Square, 49th Street and Broadway. This gig has a bazaar set-up. The bands perform high above the bar. The Metropole was loaded with beautiful Go-Go girls. It was made famous eventually from the movie The Odd Couple. In a scene in the movie you can see a good friend of ours who we were about to meet, Johnny Serrano...The Johnny Serrano band. We went over great at the Metropole and blew the other bands away. The Go-Go girls were fantastic and Joey fell in love with one of them. Her name is Evie. She was a beautiful Filipino. Apparently, Evie was almost divorced, and her ex-husband came to Evie´s apartment while Joey was there and began a confrontation with Evie. Joey stepped-in and settled it once and for all. No one should ever mess around with Joey. Evie also had a little girl named Nancy. Anyway they soon feel in love, and her ex-husband never bothered her again.

The Metropole had a stage about three feet above the bar, and the stage was about four feet wide. Actually it wasn´t a stage but a platform that extended from one end of the bar to the next. It had the longest bar in New York, 250 feet long, and they had continues music from 11am to 4 in the morning. It was located in upper Times Square just off 49th Street and Broadway. They had 2 bands in the morning, 2 bands in the afternoon, and 2 bands in the evening. People came in and out all day long to line up at the bar and listen to the music while watching the Go-Go girls. They employed more Go-Go girls than any other club in New York.

We played at the Metropole for one week and Trude Heller became very jealous and demanded we return back. When we returned back to Trude's she offered us more money, but she told us that anytime The William Morris agency had a special assignment for us that she will give us the time off to perform it. Trude herself had become our best friend, and we all loved her very much for what she gave us from the very beginning. She always treated us with a heavy hand, and in another way like gold. Trude had the best club in town, and nobody ever came close. It is the place to be if you can afford it. The drinks were 4 bucks apiece and if you wanted to sit at a table it was 4 dollars per person per set not including drinks. That means if you are a party of four and you each have a drink and listen to the band for one set, (which was 40 minutes) your bill would be $32.00.00 per person. We returned to Trude´s gladly for another month.

Our agent at the William Morris Agency got us this next gig to back-up the Isley Brothers in concert in New Jersey.
Cousin Brucie, the famous pop radio DJ at WABC in New York, was hosting the show. We arrived at the out door stadium and met with the Isley Brothers who saw that we were white. We assured them that we could play funky black music with the best of them. The band learned their songs before hand, and when we performed, we kicked ass. The Isley Brothers loved us and said to us that it was their best performance. During the middle of our performance, it started to rain very hard. The rain was collapsing the tarp covering the stage. Therefore, the promoter had to stop the show. Cousin Brucie decided to transfer the remainder of the show on a TV music program that was going on live. So we packed up our gear and went to the television studio to complete the performance. We performed one of The Isley Bros. greatest songs, Shout, on Cousin Brucie´s TV show from Philadelphia. We performed so great with The Isley Bros. that everyone was talking about our band. The agent then booked us to back-up The Four Tops, at the New Jersey State Fair.

The day of the performance, Joey and I hopped in his Bonneville convertible and headed out to Trenton, NJ where we would meet Aldo the drummer and Ritchie the sax player. Joey and I arrived at the Trenton State Fair and learned that we were going to perform directly on an auto racetrack. So, we headed to the track entrance area where a race was still in progress. We could hear the racecars whizzing by and Joey and I looked at each other and said, Oh shit, those cars are moving very fast. We could not see anything, because we were directly behind a huge fence, but every time the cars went by, we felt the rumble. We waited, and Ritchie and Aldo drove up directly behind us. We all got in a circle together around our cars and were talking about how bazaar it was to be performing at a raceway. Shortly thereafter, we heard a great roar of people as the sound of the cars reduced. We knew then that the race was ending. As we were waiting patiently, we notice a line of limousines forming behind us. We knew who the limos were. Then the fence opened-up and we were of to the stage. The stage is positioned right off the racetrack, but before we parked our car, Joey wanted to try out the racetrack with his Bonneville. There we were progressing speed as we headed around the racetrack. The corners curved upward as an embankment. We were now doing 110mph and I was scared shit. Joey loves it. The workers who watched us shoot by were laughing, but the officials began ordering us to stop. They were waving the checkered flag like crazy. Joey and I were laughing, but Aldo the drummer got pissed off. We slowed down and parked the car. As we exited the car, Aldo gave us a story. We entered the back stage and into the dressing room of The Four Tops. We introduced ourselves and shook hands. We all began talking with one another. The Four Tops were a great bunch of guys. They then introduced us to their guitarist and musical director. The director looking at us (white boys) said, "Did you guys ever play R&B before? Joey and I looked at Aldo and Ritchie and I replied, No, but we already know the Tops songs. Of course, we were only kidding, but their arranger and The Four Tops did not know that, and we could see their sudden worries on their faces. Ask me a stupid question and I´ll give you a stupid answer. I told the Four Tops, Don´t worry! Just tell us which and when and everything will be all right. They all laughed except their arranger/guitarist who then asked me to take out my guitar so that he can go over everything with me, and I proceeded. The musical director then started strumming the Tops songs and he was terrible, and not even funky. I watched him make a fool out of himself to the members of our band and I agreed with everything even though we were not going to do a thing he said. The Van-Dells was so good and prepared with great enthusiasm that we were unstoppable. The guitarist/musical director said and done his piece with high ego, authority, and we proceeded to our dressing rooms to get dressed. While we were dressing Len Barry arrived and knocked on our door and quickly said, You guys know my song? We replied, No problem! Len then replied, Great I will see you guy´s later on stage.

The sky was darkening and the people were coming into the grandstand that is located about 200 feet in front of the stage with the racetrack in-between. We had heard that it was sold-out at 5000 people. I looked at the marquee, and again no credit was due us. Frustrating! Things were getting pumped-up and the energy was starting to build. Actually, all the performers are wondering what this band of white boys is going to sound like. We did not know but all the stars were extremely concerned. They went to the director of the show and asked him to make us open the show with a song so they could know what was going to go down tonight. The director of the show came to our dressing room and said you guy´s mind opening the show with a number? We said sure. Fine!

S H O W T I M E!

It was really dark out in the audience as we approached center stage. Then, as we walked out on the stage, we saw nothing but hundreds of flash bulbs going off. The sides of the stage were packed with the artists waiting to here what we sounded like. We plugged-in our instruments and proceeded to tune up quietly. Everyone became quiet, but the energy is high, and everyone is anxiously waiting. We looked out to the audience, but we could only see as far as 100 feet from the stage which was lighted by the refection of the stage lights. Then, I approached the mike, said hello to the audience, and introduced us. Then, knowing that everyone was anticipating, I called out to the band the first song, which was, Shotgun, by Jr. Walker and the All-stars. Any R&B band knows that this is the hottest funky song at the time. It opens with only the bass and vocals. I counted it out, Joey began to play, and I followed singing. Everyone listening was in total shock, and after the opening verse, Aldo joined us into the cut. We entered the sax solo with a funky groove and Ritchie began blowing his sax. With the four of us now in full motion, I glanced at the artists standing at the sides of the stage and all I could see was smiling happy faces throwing big thumbs-up signs. We ended the song with a great crescendo. Everyone was so amazed that they all yelled out to us to do another song. I quickly called out, Land of a thousand Dances, by Wilson Picket. As we started to sing we could hear the whole audience joining in while the flashbulbs were continually flashing. The stage was moving up and down with the rhythm. It was certainly a feeling we could never forget and a moment to always remember. When we finished the song, the director came out and yelled on the mike, How about this great funky band, The Van-Dells? The crowd responded amazingly loud. Then quickly he introduced Len Barry who had the hit song, One, Two, Three, which we were prepared for. Len came out on the stage and our band made him shine. Len only did one song and prepared the crowd for The Four Tops coming next performance.

As the director was presenting this long introduction, the guitarist/arranger for The Four Tops, walked on stage with an ego/authority and plugged in to his little amp. The Four Tops came out and the crowd went wild.

What nobody knew was that we had special arrangements that would make our four-piece band sound just like The Four Tops records. We also knew that we were about to blow this guitarist right off the stage. The guitarist called out, Reach Out and proceeded to count out the song. As we began playing the intro, the guitarist started to fumble. The intro of the song has no guitar chords, but instead a melody and bass. I was able to pick-out in a chord structure the records intro melody. The arranger/guitarist did not know what to play. He was in shock, because we had all the music covered. The Four Tops themselves could not believe what they were hearing, because we were playing the intro so funky and precise that The Tops turned around and told us to keep on repeating the intro. The Four Tops watched us and we were smiling. Their guitarist got so frustrated and lost that he just walked off the stage in disgust. We were repeating the intro to build a momentum. Then the Tops told us to kick-into the song. Aldo played this hard snare pick-up and The Four Tops then turned to the audience and started singing. We sounded so great! The music...The vocals....The dance steps of The Four Tops.... The energy.... The lights...The yelling and screaming of the crowd. It was totally incredible. The awe of it all! Then we got to the first hook and the Tops began singing the title.... REACH OUT.... And all chaos broke loose. The audience crowd began rushing the stage. We could only see about a hundred feet in front of us, and suddenly, we saw this massive rush of hundreds of people charging the stage. We had only about 30 seconds to react. We quickly unplugged the guitars and began running of the stage, but the Four Tops were not as fortunate. They were caught by surprise. All the loving fans clobbered them as I took a last look before I went backstage. I could see all these people jumping on top of The Four Tops. The show was immediately cancelled. All we were thinking about was hiding for cover and protecting our instruments.

The Four Tops did not get hurt. They were able to withdraw before the great majority of the fans caught them. They were very lucky, and we were very lucky. I guess this might be the beginning of Stage Security. Our band is very frustrated, because everything was working just right. We had prepared for this moment for a long time. We weren´t able to finish one verse with the Four Tops. The Four Tops and our band were so great together, that the intensive energy ignited the crowd. The people in the grandstand completely became overwhelmed. Thus, they went crazy and rushed the stage. What a performance!

Again, I cannot believe how fantastic the band and my musical career are progressing. I have the most wanted band in New York. We have the best booking agency, William Morris, and we are backing-up the greatest stars in concert, and at the same time, playing in the hottest night club in the country, Trude Heller´s. I have a gorgeous French ballet dancer as my girlfriend and a ravishing apartment in the West Village. I have a beautiful new Chevy Impala convertible, and I am making over $600.00 a week. The only thing that could be added to this is a recording contract.

However, there is an extremely dark cloud hanging over the entire country waiting to strike and destroy everything and take all this great fortune away from us. The Vietnam War! I am very scared and frightened. I am also pissed-off and mad at it all. I am crying out, OH GOD, HOW CAN THEY DO THIS TO ME. MY LIFE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. PLEASE, STOP THIS WAR!

Yes, the war in Vietnam was increasing now that President Kennedy was killed. Linden Johnson was sworn-in as our new president. Everyone is in a state of confusion. The entire country is in protest, and yet the war is still continuing to escalate. Our government is beginning to institute the draft. There are also many strange things happening within our government. The day after Kennedy was killed; someone took the pure silver out of our coins. Why? What is going on? This Oswald assassination sounds very phony to me. I do not like this entire picture!

With these fears in our minds, Joey and I suddenly received a letter from the draft board to report for a physical examination next month to be classified. We became very scared. Our band is happening almost to the peak of where we want it, and now they want us to stop it all to go fight a war. I told the band members that I was not going to kill anyone, and that I was willing to run away to hide in Canada if necessary. Joey told me that he was not sure what he would do, but that he would not run. Everything is beginning to crumble under our feet!

When I arrived home after the Four Tops gig I learned that Yvonne was commissioned to perform with the Jodfrey Ballet in Montreal, Canada for four weeks. The band was enjoying another week off. During the week, Yvonne´s friend Amadeo called me to say hello, and he asked me how I was doing without Yvonne at home. I told him that I missed her very much, but it was a time of relaxing. Amadeo said that he had the coming weekend off and he made a suggestion, Let´s go to Montreal to see Yvonne. I replied, What are you crazy? He then asked, Have you ever been to Montreal? I replied, No, I have not. Amadeo continued, You have a car. Let´s take a ride to Montreal. It would be fun. We could surprise her. I started to laugh, but after a few thoughts, I realized that is was not such a bad idea after all. I always wanted to see Canada, especially since I may have to run to it to avoid the draft, and it would be wonderful to be with Yvonne. I never saw her perform ballet. I told him, OK. I am up for it. Let´s do it! We left early Saturday afternoon. We were enjoying the scenic ride through upstate until about two hours before the Canadian border when a New York State trooper pulled me over for speeding on the baron highway. We had to wake up the judge at his house to pay the fine. Now I stand to loose my license. This ticket gives me 12 points and four speeding tickets. Fuck! Amadeo told me not to make it spoil our trip. He was correct, and I took it out of my mind for the moment.

We finally arrived in beautiful Montreal Canada around nine o´clock at night. We proceeded directly to the Performing Arts Center where she was performing. We bought two tickets to the ballet, and watched her performance. It was very beautiful and wonderful. I had never seen her perform a ballet. She was doing a duet ballet with this black male dancer. I was very surprised to see a black male ballet dancer as her dancing partner. Black males are rare in ballet. I suddenly felt a little jealous, because they both were performing as though they were in love. However, that is the way ballet is. I quickly tried to overcome my jealousy, and enjoy the performance. I asked Amadeo if he new if her partner was gay. Amadeo replied, Yes, I know him. I quickly felt a sigh of relief. Yvonne still doesn't know we are ther watching. However, she will be very surprised, shocked, and happy to see us.

After the performance, Amadeo, who is a ballet dancer himself, proceeded to find a way backstage to the dressing room to make contact with Yvonne. I waited outside by the stage entrance door. He returned with her and she quickly ran over to give me a hug. As I was holding her with joy, I felt that her hugging me was a little strange. It somehow felt very distant. I said to her as I was holding her, You looked very beautiful and I wanted so much to watch your performance. She then gave me a small kiss. Hmmm, that was not her style, but I quickly realized that she had just finished her performance and that maybe she was high from all the attention. After all, I should know. I am a performer also. I know what it is like. She told Amadeo and I that she had not expected us to attend the performance, and that she had planned an after performance get-together with some important people from the show. She continued to say that she had to get to sleep early for a photography session in the morning, but that she would get together with us tomorrow for lunch. I went into shock listening to all of this and surprised at the manner of her communication. It was as if she was purposly brushing us off. I am confused and lost for words. I looked at Amadeo and he looked at me. Amadeo was confused also. He continued to talk with her as I listened quietly to her replies. She is not making any sense at all. My perception was that there was no way she would be with me/us tonight. Her response made me feel very helpless. I suddenly thought to myself, Wait a minute. I´m a man. I´m not going to make a woman´s bullshit turn me into butter. Irritated, I immediately interrupted the conversation and said, Hey, we just drove all the way from New York City. You are telling your loving boyfriend and your best friend here that you are too busy to involve us in your engagement? She quickly responded, You should have called to tell me you were coming! Then, just as she finished the word, coming, she added, I got to go, and she quickly took off and disappeared back into the stage entrance.

Amadeo became very helpless. After all, it was his suggestion that we are here. I said to Amadeo that something is not right here. Amadeo went into defense, No, she is just overwhelmed from the performance¦ Do not worry, nothing is wrong. I was trying to regain my thoughts and I reiterated to Amadeo that something is not right here. I was thinking out loud to Amadeo, This is the woman I live with. This is my girlfriend. This is the woman I love. I am the man she loves. We just drove eight hours to talk with her in person for five minutes? Do you really think that something is not wrong? Amadeo did not know what to say. I began to become uncontrollable. I said to Amadeo, Look, if you and my girlfriend drove a long distance to see me, and I was going out after the performance with people, I would invite you to come along. My girlfriend is the same as if she was my wife. My best friend is the same as my brother. Who´s going to object? It doesn´t make any sense. I´m not going to put-up with this bullshit. I asked Amadeo to go back inside, and find out what it is that is causing this. I told him, talk to her and find out. Amadeo understood and proceeded inside again to talk with her. He returned again and said listen, I talked with her and nothing is wrong, she told me to tell you that she was sorry, but she is busy with all the people. She received many flowers from people that she has to thank, and everyone in the company is going out together, political stuff. She said that if we would have called, then she could have communicated all this to us, and we would not have had to make a wasted trip. I told Amadeo that it is understandable to a degree, but I still cannot buy it! She is redirecting the blame on to us, and making it appear as though it was our mistake. I told Amadeo that I needed to walk around the block alone to think, and that I will meet with him in 15 minutes. Amadeo said, OK.

I proceeded to walk around the block to think about this for a moment alone and gather my thoughts. It´s been a very frustrating week for me. I´ve been home alone during the week watching the events unfold with this Vietnam War thing, and now they are instituting the draft. Joey and I could get drafted into this war. I received my fourth speeding ticket to arrive here, and I will most certainly loose my right to drive for six months when I return. And now my girlfriend is playing a game with me. I was thinking. If I am her boyfriend then why does she not introduce me to everyone? That would be the correct thing to do. I am also with her best friend, and he also is a dancer...what is the problem? Why was she not very happy to see us? I would have been so delighted. What about this black male dancer she was performing with.... No. It is apparent that he is extremely gay...but they were very romantic on stage together.... God damn it! I then began to cry into tears out loud. I looked up at the stars.... Why did you have to make me go through this, I yelled. Then I ripped the gold chain with the crucifix attached off my neck that my mother had bought me, and I threw it at the stars as hard as I could throw it and yelled, You mutherfucker! Damn you! I then fell to the ground in tears. I pouted there for about ten minutes in agony. I slowly started to regain my composure. I got up and returned to where Amadeo was waiting. Amadeo asked, Are you all right. I told him that I was, and I said, Let´s get the fuck out of here. Amadeo asked, Where are we going? I replied, Back to New York...fuck it!

Amadeo and I had a very encouraging conversation with one another during the ride back home to New York. He felt as bad as I felt, because she treated him as evasive as she treated me. Maybe we were over reacting. After all, we did not inform her that we were coming. What did we expect? Did we expect her to drop everything because we arrived unannounced? These were some off the wall thoughts that we were bouncing back and forth to one another. I told Amadeo that something is up with her. I could feel it. I do not feel the same way about her anymore. I am a man, and I am not going to make my girlfriend treat me like this. It was an exhausting trip. I received a speeding ticket to boot. However, Montreal was beautiful. We arrived back home at Yvonne´s apartment, and I went to sleep in the bedroom while Amadeo went to sleep on the couch in the living room. We were totally exhausted.

I woke up around 8:00 that Sunday evening to find that Amadeo had prepared me a dinner that was sitting on the stove. He returned to his apartment and left me an encouraging note. He had been so wonderful in keeping me on track, and being an extraordinary friend, especially in time of need. On our way home, he made jokes to make me laugh, and kept me in Great Spirit. Amadeo is a good friend. I do not look at him as a gay person. Amadeo had never come on to me in the slightest way. Nor did he ever do other than wonderful things for me, because he wanted to go to bed with me. He was an incredible person. He kept his personal affairs private, and I am proud to have a friend such as him.

I ate the dinner that Amadeo prepared for me, and I needed a pick-me-up. Therefore, I strolled to bar on 9th Street down the block from Trude Heller´s. As soon as I entered I saw Barbara and her friends sitting at the bar. I walked over to them and said hello, but Barbara acted very cold to me. I could not blame her, because I had been away from her for a long time. She never knew I was living with Yvonne. However, it took some doing, but it didn´t take long for Barbara to warm up to me again. The way to quickly forget about a corrupt love relationship is to quickly find another one. We all talked for over an hour and then I asked Barbara if she would like to go with me to our famous parking spot in Jersey City. Barbara agreed. Barbara and I drove to our spot and began making out again. This time I began to feel her beautiful little breasts. They felt wonderful, and she really enjoyed it. Before, when we were making out, I had never touched her. This time I made it a point to progress with her. I was about time. This quickly took me out of my bad mood that Yvonne´s actions had created. We carried on until the sun came up.

To my surprise, Yvonne returned home, sweet, loving, and excited to see me. She explained to me that it was just the wrong time to arrive in Montreal, and that the next day she was wondering why I had never called her at the hotel. We discussed the situation in great detail for hours, and then we both forgot about it with passionate sex. The band was returning to Trude Heller´s tonight, and she told me that she would be dancing there again beginning on Wednesday. She asked that we put the event behind us. I went along with it and told her OK, but I no longer believed or trusted her. The situation was way to bizarre to be believed.

The band opened at Trude´s again. It was wonderful to be playing. This is where all my bad thoughts fade away. It was good to see my brother, Joey the bass player again. During our break I told Joey the incident with Yvonne. Joey came back hard and told me that his girlfriend Evie might be pregnant. I was not too happy about that, but Joey assured me that it wouldn´t affect him playing with the band. Aldo and Ritchie were still single.

It was Wednesday and Yvonne left early in the morning for rehearsal. She had not returned to our apartment so I figured I would see her at the club tonight. When I arrived at Trude´s I had thought that Yvonne was going to be there, but she was not. I asked Amadeo if she was working tonight, and he said that she was not. I thought that to be odd and peculiar. Yvonne had been rehearsing all week at the ballet company, and I saw her quite periodic. Just before my first break, Yvonne showed up at the club. On my break, she told me that she wanted to talk with me and suggested we take a walk around the block.

We went outside and walked up 9th Street a little ways. We sat down on a quiet stoop, and Yvonne said, I had this boyfriend a couple of years ago. The apartment that we are living in was his apartment. We were about to be married when he suddenly disappeared. I waited for him to come back, but he never did. I received no phone calls.... I didn´t know where he was or what to do. I waited...and waited.... no news...no word.... nothing. It was two years ago that this had happened. I met you, you were wonderful, and I´ve fallen in love with you. Yesterday, he surprisingly called me. He told me that he wanted to come back to his apartment and make up for the lost time. He said that he became very frightened to marry me, and that he didn´t have the guts to tell me. He said that it would have killed him to see me hurt. So he just left, and went to Europe to find himself. He thought that I would eventually understand. When he called me, I was shocked to hear his voice and I began crying, because I told him that I was now in a relationship with someone whom I really love. He told me that he had found himself and was now ready for the relationship with her. I didn´t know what to say, because he kept on begging me to at least give it a try. Yvonne went on, she said, Chuck, I love you very much, but this man, I was in love with him for four years before he took off. Now that he is back, and I am now confronted with this.... I have to make a choice. Before I make a decision, I need to be with him again to find out if I still love him or not. It is something I need to do for myself. If I find I don´t love him anymore then it is you who I will return to. However, if I feel I still love and need him then I will marry him. However, I do not think that is the case... I just need some time to prove it to myself.

I could not believe what I was hearing, but I can deeply appreciate when someone is open and truthful. Then I feel comfortable to make an intelligent choice. I told Yvonne, Thank you for your honesty and openness, at least you´re not cheating behind my back. Go ahead, see if it is what you want...if it is, then if it is him that you choose. I completely understand. I´ll pack-up my stuff tonight after the gig, and I´ll go back to Brooklyn. Yvonne began crying and put her arms around me and held me for about five minutes while she was in tears. She then kissed me and said in a quiet voice, Thank you for understanding, and she then walked away.

I watched her walk away and I was shocked, but not depressed. I thought that she was open and honest about the situation and there was nothing I could do. I returned to Trude´s and told Amadeo and the band what had happened, and they both agreed that there was nothing I could do. The only thing that was bothering me was going back to that negative house in Brooklyn. One thing for sure, when I´m playing and singing with the band I am happy and at my best. Nothing bothers me then, but just having fun and a good time on stage. Besides, I still have Barbara as a backup. If happiness be the fruit of love, then play on.

When I arrived home, my family was surprised to see me, and welcomed me back. I also saw all my old friends in the neighborhood. Now that I was living in Brooklyn again, Joey and I would continue racing our cars home as we always did. We knew all the short cuts including all the little alleys and streets leading to the Brooklyn Bridge. Once on the Brooklyn Bridge it was a few hard turns and then on the BQE (Brooklyn Queens Expressway) which was all highway until we arrived to our exit of Cropsey Ave on the Belt Parkway. We got caught speeding several times by the Police and I now have 12 points on my license. I was forced to slow down and take it easy, because I wasn´t sure if the Motor Vehicle department would recognize that I had a speeding ticket upstate. With my license in jeopardy, I didn´t want to risk another speeding ticket for sure.

It has been one week since Yvonne and I separated, but I haven´t heard a word from Yvonne. I heard that Amadeo was now crashing at Yvonne´s apartment. Finally, I asked Amadeo what was going on with her. Amadeo replied that he didn´t know. I asked him to find out for me if he will, one-way or another. Amadeo suggested that I talk to her instead. He went on to say that she was leaving at 5:30 for rehearsal tomorrow night, and advised me to go to her apartment before she leaves to so that I may talk with her.

So the next day, I arrived at Yvonne´s apartment and caught her before she was leaving. When I looked at her blue eyes, blonde hair and beautifully shaped body, my heart fell in my hand. I realized again how beautiful she was and how much I missed all the great moments we had together. I asked her what was going on. She told me that she was leaving for France shortly, and that she decided to marry the guy. I felt very hurt emotionally. Noticing the expression on my face she said that she was leaving the apartment to Amadeo and me. She then gave me a set of keys and told me that the apartment would be available to me on Monday. She then gave me a big hug and left the apartment for rehearsal with the dance company.

Since I was in the city early with nothing to do, I decided to follow her, because I was curious whom this guy was that swept away my girl. I wanted to see the face of this man in person. Therefore, I followed her unknowingly into the subway station, and I entered the same train. I was in the car that was directly behind the car she was sitting in. She exited on 34th Street and I continued to follow her. She stopped and waited in front of this building. It was now dark so I needed to remain close if I was going to see what this man looked like. I waited across the street on the same side, and I watched patiently.

Then a figure of a man came out of the building and I could see her face light up. They hugged and kissed passionately for a moment. Yvonne then took his hand and they both began walking north. I did not see who he was nor could I see his face. It was too dark. So I continued to follow them as I tried to move-in closer. I followed about a half a block running a little bit each moment to get nearer. Suddenly they stopped to look at a display window, and this man turned to look at my direction. I stopped suddenly in shock and starred at his face, but he did not know me. I suddenly became very angry. I can´t believe it. He is the gay black male dancer that she was performing with in Montreal. I stood there frozen as they continued walking. I was thinking as I watched them disappear north into the crowd. Everything made sense now. My intuitive feelings were correct from the very beginning. I kept on thinking in shock. Everything she said to me in Montreal was a lie. In fact, the whole story she gave me on the side street of Trude´s was a lie also. Everything was a lie from the beginning. I could not believe that someone would go to so much trouble to make-up a story like that. Holy Shit! In a matter of seconds I was putting all this together. What really made me angry is that I had lost my beautiful French girlfriend to a gay nigger. I don´t believe this. Of all things, a gay nigger! I was furiously angry. Why did this happen to me? I turned around and walked back to subway to return to the village. The thoughts were slowly coming together in my mind. The more I thought, the worst it got, because I was thinking how she came home to me and apologized, and all the while... Oh man, how sad!

Before I entered the subway, I decided to have a quick meal at Tads Steaks A good $399 Tad steak will make me feel better, and I needed a place to think for a moment. I took a tray and ordered a Tad steak that came with a salad and a toasted bun. I sat at a lonely table and enjoyed my meal as I thought about everything. After a half hour of this great meal, I then headed back to the village. I walked into the bar up from Trude´s, and Barbara was hanging-out waiting for me. I quickly ordered a Shivers Regal with ice depressingly. Then Barbara asked why I was here so early. I turned the question around and asked the same question. She told me that she had the day off from work and decided to catch my show. I did not tell her my story. Instead I put my arms around her. held her closely, and gave her a long juicy kiss. Barbara has a great figure. She made me feel very good again, and I needed that badly. Thank God, she was here. I then told Barbara that I was moving into the village on Monday. I stayed with her for a while and I needed to prepare for work. I asked Barbara to meet me inside the club.

I proceeded into the kitchen/dressing room in Trude´s and I told Amadeo what had happened and what I learned. Amadeo said that he loved me as a friend, but if he had known what she was doing he would have told me in one way or another. However, Yvonne kept him in the dark also. We talked about living in the same apartment together and Amadeo had no problem. "Just keep the place clean", he said. He then went on to say, If he brings a man over occasionally, just split somewhere for the night and I will do the same if you want to bring home a girl. OK! I told him that the arrangement would be great. I asked him if Yvonne was returning tonight and he said no. She won't return until Sunday night. That is her last night. I asked Amadeo if I could bring Barbara over tonight and Amadeo said no problem. I´ll find a place to sleep tonight. Amadeo said have a good time and forget about Yvonne. Wow! What a great friend!

After the gig at Trude´s, I took Barbara to the apartment. We went up to the roof of the apartment building and made love all night long. The next morning Barbara had to leave, because she was living with her strict sister and brother in law, and she was afraid of getting in trouble. However, I will be with her all weekend.

My mother contacted me and told me to come home. She said that my father was very sick. It appeared that my father checked into the hospital and did not return. When I arrived home, my Mother told me that my father had cancer and he was going to die. I said to her, "Just like that?" "Just like that", she replied. How long does he have? I asked. My mother said, Maybe two weeks! My father is giving-up on life, and in some way I do not blame him. I knew that the Kennedy assassination was too much for him. My father is a sensitive man, and I believe that I possess the same sensitivity also. I went to see him, and he looked very bad. What am I to do? I visited him a couple of times and suddenly he was gone. Quick, just like that! We had the funeral, everyone was present, and he was buried in Long Island. However, I refused to go to the burial. I did not want to see my father being lowered into the ground. I wanted to remember him as he was without the burial view in my mind. My heart is shattered now. He and my sister Marie were the only one´s that appreciated my music. First I loose my girlfriend, and then I loose the most important person in my life, my wonderful father. The following week, something worse again happened. Joey and I received a letter from the draft board to report for classification for enlistment into the Army. The Army draft call for classification. Ritchie the sax is 25 years old; too old for classification, and Aldo is still not a Citizen. Our government has gone crazy and my world is turning upside down.